Black Smasher

I wun be blogging anymore

2010-08-27T21:57:00.000+08:00

yup, you got the title right. I won't be blogging anymore*

*till i've sorted out my priorities and understanding deeper what God's purpose is for me

Living in the joy of fear

2010-08-15T01:00:00.000+08:00

I know I have not been blogging for almost two weeks! Seeing my daily blog hits drop from 3-digit figures to 1-digit figures! Now I'm feeling really guilty for not blogging so long, but I had a valid reason :P I have been out early and back home very late for everyday in the past week! So this blog post will supposedly be a long one because I'll be detailing events for almost two weeks, though I'll try to make it short and sweet :D

ok last sunday was Esther's birthday! YAY :D she's really one friend who can always make me smile no matter how dark my day is, and since i'm a very optimistic person, my dark days are really VERY DARKK :< so thank God for placing her in my close circle of friends ^__^ I knew she loved CJ7, so I called up all the major soft-toy shops in singapore like minitoons, action city and even artbox, but they don't sell CJ7 merchandise anymore, not even a small keychain! But thank God again, Lynn Yang has a penpal in China who recently sent a huge genuine CJ7 soft-toy over to her, and the best part was that the toy was actually with her friend who stayed a few blocks away from me only! So yay, thanks Lynn Yang and congrats on turning older esther! :D

Last sunday in church I also met a Vietnamese Christian by the name of Thi (Phillip). He's my cell group member's mother's friend's friend, so yeah work that out XD basically he was gonna stay in Singapore for about a week to experience the Christian culture in Singapore. I didn't expect to be his tour guide around Singapore for the week, but one conversation led to another and I found myself offering to bring him around, which was probably one of the best decisions I made this week because I've learnt so much about Vietnam from him! Apparently, Christianity is condemned by the Vietnamese government, who wants the general population to believe the government is the highest, which is contradicted by Christian belief that Jesus is the highest. So the condemnation is so severe, that Christians are not allowed to have government jobs, and if you're caught spreading the Gospel in public, you can be deported! Generally that was the main 'highlight' information I got from him about Vietnam, which really opened my eyes as to how open and lucky Singapore really is (: so anyway, Monday I brought him to Marina Square to catch Inception (I don't get what's so difficult to understand about it!) before going to One Fullerton to catch the NDP fireworks before heading to Lau Pa Sat. Tuesday had prayer walk together with Jerald and Zhiyang. I guess Thi really loved the open culture of Singaporeans and how open we really can be to spreading the word of Christ (: Wednesday I took the day off as Jerald brought him to bible school, but I had to tutor my friend over at her house o.O Thursday took him to Sentosa, where he totally loved the Luge and Songs of the Sea! Friday brought him to Botanic Gardens and Chinatown before sending him off at night on a bus to Penang, but not before we played a match of basketball!

To not spam too many pictures, I guess I'll put most of the pictures we took together into a page. Four main 'couple' photos, with 7 individual shots and 3 scenery shots to describe where we went (: most of the photos are in his camera, so I guess I'll have to wait till he returns to Vietnam before I get the pictures.

skylift!

snacks while waiting for Songs of the Sea!

Will you really sacrifice your all?

2010-08-03T23:11:00.000+08:00

Pastor preached about the fourth dimension on Sunday, which was really easier for me to understand than Dr Yonggi Cho's sermon about it during Asia Conference, maybe cause I get more impressions from lively interaction sermons (: Anyway, went to drop off my timesheet for the Singtel part-time job at my job agency before heading to J8 to tutor Xinni. Passed by some Brazillian football showcase at Douby Ghaut, but didn't manage to take any pictures with jerseys cause the lighting just wasn't right ><

Swedish meatballs with Spaghetti from Ikea!

Steak with Spaghetti from Cafe Cartel. Steak tasted like fish ><

yesterday headed down to Centrepoint after work to celebrate Clarence's birthday! It was a last-minute birthday dinner thing, so thankfully I was able to make it, though it sucks to turn up without a birthday present :< Went to create my new ez-link card on the way at Tiong Bahru, managed to escape the $18 replacement fee (:

birthday boy reserved a table for us! :D

Cheesy Chicken :D

God is not of monetary value

2010-08-01T00:41:00.001+08:00

ok pretty long post ahead of this and loads of pictures too, so bear with me! Anyway, it's about the release of iPhone 4 in Singapore, so guess it's worth the time to write and post pictures :) So anyway, the revolutionary iPhone 4 was set to be released on Thursday midnight, which meant 0000hrs on Friday night! Sorry to those who aren't used to me using 24-hour format XD anyway, for the first time in Singapore, all three telcos were gonna released it at the same time! But unlike Starhub and M1, Singtel decided to release its iPhone from a centralized location, which turned out to be Marina Bay Sands Convention Centre Basement 2, Hall F! So Delwyn smsed me on Tues if I wanted to queue up for him (for a certain amount of $$) to help him get first place, so of course I said yes! I mean, to get $$ just by queuing up is great! :DD Reached the hall at 1130 on Wednesday morning and I was DAMN happy to be first! (:

the unfinished iPhone entrance

apparently one must have a minimum order of $21 for McDonalds to deliver to you at Marina bay Sands, so minus the $3 delivery charge, it's $18 worth of food I had to order and gobble down myself. And yes, I finished everything (: New shaker fries isn't that nice and the spicy nuggets could have been spicier. So anyway, Delwyn made the online appointment booking at 1400, but since the whole of Singapore was trying to enter Singtel server at that very time, he got the 0300-0500 appointment time slot! Then we were worried, cause Delwyn may not be able to get the iPhone first since the iPhone would be released at 0000hrs! I caleld Singtel HQ and got the confirmation from the operator that we would still get it first although our appointment time slot did not allow it, so I continued queuing :) until some big shots in Singtel went to the hall at about 2200 and saw me queuing and asked about my appointment time slot, then I realised that the operator was wrong! We couldn't get first! So the Singtel guy promised us that should the operator really have told us the wrong information when they listen to the traced call the next day, they will reserve first place for us :D so yay, I managed to go back home early :)

then the very next day, the Singtel guy called us to say the operator was wrong, so me and Delwyn rushed down to Marina Bay Sands, only to realise that there was a queue already and we arrived in 10th place! But of course, we didn't need to worry, cause the Singtel guy promised us first, right? But the Singtel guy now said he couldn't do anything, and that we had to settle for Top Ten, and that it didn't matter who was first, because from the company's point of view, there is no First, there is only Top Ten! which kind of doesn't make sense since they gave a short saying '1st to get iPhone' shirt to the first guy! I mean, yeah I can emphatize with the Singtel guy that he can't put us first, and I can understand that it's kinda rude to just jump to the front, but the only reason why I left the previous night was because the guy promised us we'll be first, we triple-confirmed that with him! So now the first guy thinks he's damn power to reach there at 0630 and be first and published it all over twitter and hardwarezone.. well, someone reached there like 19hrs before you and only left because he was promised something which was never done >< But oh well, at least Delwyn got Top Ten, though I seriously detest people who break promises. Just imagine what the Singtel guy will have to do if we didn't reach 10th :O

The rotating iPhone model on stage

Went home to rest after looking around the Hall for awhile after the doors open at 2100, then arrived back at Marina Bay Sands on Friday morning at 0700 to work part-time! Really coincidental that my job agency posted me to work for Singtel, so I've been travelling from home to Marina Bay Sands and back for three consecutive days. But the part-time pay is good, so I've been getting pretty rich these three days =D Some of the Singtel staffs were really shocked to see me again, but yeah it's great to know people whom u'll be working with. So anyway, I was posted to serve the VIP customers :)

the queue display on the big iPhone beside the giant stage screen, and Class 95 FM broadcasting live

VIP waiting area

VIP buffet. I was allowed to eat from there when there were no VIPs around :D

VIPs could order as many iPhones as they want! some guy ordered TEN!! and yes, I spent most of my free time playing with the iPhone 4 display :)

me and the MUTTONS!! they came just to collect their iPhone 4

pink socks ^__^

gonna get my iPhone 4 next week! I really want the white iPhone 4, but it's only going to come out end of this year and I can't wait, so guess I've to settle for black!

Adoration of thy love

2010-07-29T23:34:00.000+08:00

this past week has been kinda of a busy week for me, so pardon me for not blogging so often! I've been working part-time so as to get my own spending power as well as having the feeling of having some random big amount of cash stashed away in a bank :D normally I would have elaborated more on what I did in the past week, but since i'm running out of time (dad's time restriction again *curses*), I'll just talk short here so that I can talk more about what I really wanna share in the next post :D

So basically in the past week, I've been doing part-time jobs, mostly ad-hoc based on what my job agency asked me for.. which meant traveling alot more and thus a need to get back my student concession ez-link card! So a big YAY to yeoon when I finally got the form today, with the school stamp and everything, thx dude :D anyway, i went to collect my GV membership card as well, which I should have collected like, a year ago! But yeah, i kinda think the card sucks >< pointy edges on the card will spoil my wallet if I didn't put it back properly if in a rush :< must be careful (:

Also went to Leo's house last week after we couldn't enter Wild Wild Wet with out 5 free tickets because we went in the evening, and we didn't check the time which it closed! So we went Leo's house to play Wii :) his house is really nice, comfy and it really makes one feel like home! So yeah, we play some rabbit game and guitar hero :) I was really surprised that my guitar hero skills were awesome despite the fact that it was the first time i was playing it.. Played 'Hotel California' and 'Beat It' mostly, since they were the more popular tunes and thus could strum better to it :D

Dark Chocolate yoghurt with strawberries, honeystars and mochi from berrylite! :D

A happy heart makes the face cheerful

2010-07-23T14:41:00.000+08:00

I haven really being active on my blog I suppose, with only like two blog posts every week throughout the month. Reason being I was actually concentrating more on my new blog layout, cause I figured that I'll have to get everything in my blog settled down and ready and presentable in my eyes before I start publicizing my blog to the world out there.. but then again, I'm a guy who always expects the best, so for a layout to be presentable in my eyes, you can kinda guess that it's pretty high standard in accordance to my IT skills (:

Recently I've been going through alot in my life, in terms of personal needs, wants and ultimately personal gain. I've actually started working part-time so that I can fulfil my desire to have my spending power. Note, it is not that I desire money, not the affluence or the power of it, but I desire the will and ability to have and control my own earning and spending power. There's a fine line there, and I suppose some people who do part-time work will understand that point! But I'm worried that as I do my part-time jobs, I will get 'suck' into the system where money starts to control my life. Praise God that he has forewarned me of the traps ahead despite my dangerous desires :P

But still, money has not been the sbject of philosophical thoughts for me in the past few days, but rather, happiness! Happiness is defined as the quality of contentment, but that is of course, just a dictionary meaning. I guess all of us have our own definitions of happiness and what makes us happy; friends games television nature.. Our source of happiness will always be there no matter what, and therefore throughout most of our lives, we actually live quite carefree and happy lives. I was watching the show 'Las Vegas' two nights ago, the episode where a monk enters the casino and wins USD$1.35m. Despite the drama about how he was supposedly cheating, one of the few phrases he uttered was "If you are suffering, do not worry. For if you can do something about it, there is no cause to worry. If you cannot do anything about it, there is also no need to worry." Sounds kinda weird at the moment, but I suppose it takes many to take a while to digest what it actually means, and in a way it's kinda true!

BUT still, what makes me happy has not been the main subject! The main subject has been 'what KEEPS you happy?' There are plenty of things in my life that can surely make me happy! Sex, shopping, msn conversations with friends, blogging, thinking.. all these can MAKE me happy! But I've come to realized that what matters most is what KEEPS you happy! The very object of making happiness may be the obstacle towards keeping you happy. For instance, sex can make one happy, very happy indeed! Although one can have multiple sexual partners and many sex encounters in just one day for everyday of his life, that does not mean it keeps him happy. What I'm desiring for here is eternal happiness, something that will gimme happiness forever! Sex may make u happy many times, but pre-marital sex may also become an obstacle towards your eternal happiness such as marriage!

For me, the only thing so far in which I've found eternal happiness in is The Lord my God! (here goes marcus on his religious rambling!) But yes indeed it's true, for I've come to realized that while God makes me happy, he KEEPS me happy, and the feeling of happiness in me whenever I encounter him is soo strong and so peaceful, it keeps the happy fire burning in me, with the desire that it can be an everlasting flame. From there, I also realized that many objects that creates happiness for man, objects that we tend to desire, are often very solid boundaries towards the happiness that God can provide for us (: And for God to bless us with happiness all the days of our lives, we must follow his path, for "May the righteous be glad and rejoice before God, may they be happy and joyful"

skyhigh sweet delights

2010-07-18T17:43:00.000+08:00

Went to Singapore Flyer at last minute notice from my friend, so forgot to bring my camera, so make do with my handphone camera :< Anyway I was invited last minute cause his friend won a lucky draw for 4 free tickets to a ride on the wheel! AND GUESS WHAT! he won another 4 free tickets to Wild Wild Wet this coming friday, so I'm invited heh :D must waterproof my camera.. think I saw a youtube video on waterproofing your camera before, involving condoms o.O

F1 TRACK!

CASINO!!

Saturday went to Chung Cheng High School Main School bazzar to meet Huiqi and surprise her with her birthday present! Of course, I expected her to expect me to bring a present, especially since we're such close friends =D but she seems genuinely shocked when I gave her the belated birthday present, so I guess I made her day (: After the bazzar went to eat Pizza Hut at J8 with scout mates before heading to Pathlight School for their funfair! Dining experience at Pizza Hut was terrible, purely because the service was just downright unpleasing. My friends had already finished their main course and I was still waiting for mine, and the ice lemon tea tasted more like teh-o >< But anyway, great bonding time with scout mates! Yenter won some hamper worth $500, which included beauty skin products and a 'Sex and the City' trivia game.. wonder what he'll do with it :O

Perfect gift wrapping for the perfect girl :D

Garlic Clam Broth

Orleans Delight Baked Rice

Pretti Bretti in Pink

Happy Birthday Karmen!

2010-07-14T23:57:00.002+08:00

yesterday was Karmen's bdae!! thank you Esther for inviting me to her surprise bdae celebration.. but it also meant that I had to buy a surprise birthday present! So I went shopping around town after fellowship with Amos, and collected it yesterday after my job interview! Oh and yes, I'm taking up a part-time job which I guess will start next week! My pay will be $6/hr and along the service line, though I was hoping for a $7-9/hr job which will enable me to exercise my brain skills like accounting.. oh well, I'm just after money!! I'm seriously running short of it and yes, the surprise birthday present further worsen my financial situation lol. Anyway, decided to buy 3 presents for two other upcoming birthdays :D

I wrapped it myself! I think all guys should learn how to wrap presents(Y)

The surprise birthday celebration was at Esplanade Rooftop! so from there we could actually see the casino, the city skyline and obviously, the esplanade itself. I still feel the casino reminds me of mega big ships in the movie '2012'.. oh and I heard one has to pay $20 just to enter the rooftop! Next time when I get more professional in photography (it's an area of interest I don't really know how to become pro in) and have a DSLR camera, i'll pay to enter and shoot all the photos I want :D oh, the esplanade rooftop is a great place to pak-tor too ;)

the thorns of the durain

Futsal!

2010-07-12T23:54:00.001+08:00

Divided this post from the previous post about 'Despicable Me' because I didn't think it'll be a pretty good idea to put 5 Youtube videos and alot of pictures into the same post :P

Anyway, Saturday went to play soccer at The Cage@East Coast Park with clifford alex lester zy and some of his friends.. played for about 2 hours. Gosh I must really improve my stamina, but maybe it's because I was the only guy there who hadn't been through NS, that's why I can't last long enough lol.. but my goal-scoring power still there :D after that we went to Subway to eat lunch before we went home.. oh Walls was giving out free ice cream as part of their 'Spread the Happiness' campaign! and the ice cream was really really nice, but maybe it was due to the fact that I had just played 2 hours of soccer and was under the hot yellow sun :P

my left boot after playing

my right boot after playing.. yup i'm right-legged :)

Oh and I missed out on the World Cup Finals this morning cause I was too damn tired :< but anyway since I heard that it was kinda boring till the only goal was scored, I guess watching the highlights would satisfy me :D went to douby ghaut to lan with Amos this afternoon, played L4D2 and DotA, where I realised that Chambers also uses the corrupted 6.66 AI map, so our game crash halfway and we had to restart =.= but overall, great time catching up with him :D after that went shopping! and while shopping I realised that the thigh pain I picked up while playing soccer on Saturday had vanished! so moral of story: shopping cures all pain :DD

meow

IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIEE!!

Despicable Me

2010-07-11T19:26:00.001+08:00

yup, I watched Despicable Me last thursday on the opening day! watched with some cg guys at cineleisure at the 1915 slot, and the movie was AWEEESOMEE! =DD it was the first movie which really kept me laughing throughout :) I just wished I watched at cineleisure abit later, cause the deco in which we can camwhore with were put up on Friday!! :< but still, personal rating: 5 stars, a total must-catch :D

I would have loved to put more videos, but the rest can be found at on Grutube (:

hyper-sex!

2010-07-07T20:55:00.001+08:00

Just started to be more active in finding pictures on tumblr and the results are very entertaining! From retarded pictures of bieber to.. yeah predictions of soccer results =D

Yesterday I came across a news article of Ms Donna Glover, a 40-year-old British woman who apparently can't stop having sex, much to the extend that her boyfriends also takboleh tahan! Sounds like a slutty lady, who apparently can't control her sexual desire and has sex with men the moment they look at her. Pretty sad life for her, but recently she found out that she suffers from Kleine-levine syndrome, which causes a person to be able to sleep for loong periods of time, and when they wake up they experience different demeanors, and in Ms Glover's case, hypersexuality! But then again, if you do a wikipedia search on 'hypersexuality', you will find that bipolar disorder is an associated condition to it! Which also means, people who suffer from bipolar disorder may/have a high chance of suffering from hypersexuality, which will cause one to have an abnormally high desire to engage in sexual activities.

Now, who's the most famous person in Singapore who claims to have bipolar disorder (:

Understanding the heart of oneself

2010-07-07T00:00:00.000+08:00

spotted that at SingPost building when I was there to visit Heart of God church to hear A. R. Bernard on Friday night. His sermon was good, talking about growth in greatness and establishment of biblical cosmology in our lives to help build the church, since HOG is a rather young church still. About the same as what he preached in Asia Conference, just that he twisted it here and there to fit the context of growth for a up and rising church (: made alot of new friends at HOG, but sadly none of them a World Cup fanatic :<

Anyway, spent overnight at Matthew's house on Saturday night to watch the quarter finals! Spain/Paraguay and Argentina/Germany! Though I've the cable subscription and can watch it from home, it's always better to have a crowd to cheer and try and disturb the neighbours :P but still, abit shocking to see Argentina getting raped by Germany.. not expected till you see Argentina play on the pitch during the game itself. And since Marcus will always be hungry, me and sb went down to Lot 1 to order McDonalds to eat during Spain/Paraguay. Saw several guys with tattoos and girls with singlets and tight shorts hanging around.. really made me question the 'motive' behind them staying up late every night to just hang around and ton, especially the girls. So anyway, ate and watched at the same time. Thank God the game didn't go into extra-time and penalty shoot-outs, cause a full Marcus is a sleepy Marcus, and I was already in a 'sleepy mode' around the 70th minute.. then suddenly Matthew's mioTV blackout! screw Singtel, cause my Starhub at home was working perfectly well and by the time Matthew got the mioTV to work, the only goal of the match was already over :S epic goal I must say, watching the highlights XD

DOUBLE MCSPICY!!

managed to wake up in time (mostly due to Amos poking me) to go to church. Ate some ham and cheese curd from Piekia then took the shuttle bus to church. Word was kinda okayy, though I was really yearning for more. But what Pastor said did have an impact on me, as always (: to bring compassion out of us to the people around us.. I guess that's something that most people will fully experience only if they take notice of the lives of others around them as they walk around the streets of Singapore. For example, if you see an old man trying to lift the cover of a public dustbin at a void deck so that he can search for things of value to him to sell off, and he's having trouble lifting up the cover cause it's damn long and big, would you help him? Would you help him to lift up a dustbin cover even though you know there's probably more germs on that cover than your keyboard? Of course, I'm bringing up that particular example because I've come across that scenario, and Marcus being a good and compassionate fellow, went to help :D

Yesterday went over to Jasmine's house to help Aaron shoot a video.. he asked me to dress up like a yakuza, which in english terms, means 'japanese gangster'. So I didn't bother to tidy up my hair when I left the house cause my 'out-of-bed' hair was standing and looked perfectly yakuza (: actually, my hair looks great when I come out of bed, it's just that I prefer flat hair.. maybe I should change my preference XD so anyway, when I reach the house, I read the script and realize that what Aaron wanted was for me to have an 'out-of-bed' hairstyle! wow! even though he didn't tell me specifically that he needed that, I arrived and fit the bill perfectly! Prasie God man :D saved me alot of time from making my hair try to stand should I have arrived with flat hair!

today went for psychiatric assessment.. guess it's the last one I'll ever have, so congrats to myself :) went better than expected, it was fun and was over in half an hour. Praise God too :D

doing something I haven done for a while, playing with stray cats

WORLD CUP SEMIS START TONIGHT!! :DD

What more than man deserve

2010-07-01T23:22:00.001+08:00

YES! I know I haven been updating as often as I thought I will, but this week has really been a busy week! I've been watching World Cup alot lately too, and though I didn't bet with Singapore Pools, somehow all my predictions seems to be spot-on, leaving me abit sad after every match cause I feel that I should have bet and won some money from it :< but Germany/England, Spain/Portugal were really hot matches! Germany/England was damn screwed up, but it kinda brought up everyone's opinion and knowledge (and stupidity) of soccer! I seriously dunno why people will go adding or subtracting scores >< psychology is also a very strong part of the game! And Portugal was just sad, with just one goal sending them home in the whole tournament.. but still, that's soccer eh? :D

Last Thursday my family celebrated my dad's birthday + father's day! Went for lunch at ~~Furoma~~ (oops i've been playing Mousehunt too much) Furama Riverfront Hotel. I think it's becoming one of my parent's favourite places to eat buffet lunches :) After lunch we went home to rest for a while before heading to East Coast Park to chill out. Went cycling with my bro, sis and mom and we chanced upon the Extreme Skate Park, so me and my bro went to the ramps and starting cycling around it with our rental bicycles. Feels kinda cool to be in the air, maybe I should buy a stunt bike sometime (: oh! My birthday's coming! :D after that we went to Fish & Co.at Douby Ghaut. Kinda cool place, with music played by a live band though I feel they should really tune down the volume :< but cool place to hang out and have a date with someone ^__^

Friday went to my volunteer centre to volunteer.. came back home to watch Brazil/Portugal group match. Then I realized that Channel 5 is showing 'The Mentalist' again, starting from episode 1!! I'm really loving the black box now, and plus my Starhub cable box, I can series record my favourite show! YAY :D 'The Mentalist' is a must-watch ok, everybody must watch! It shows every weekday morning at 0130, so go catch it (: Saturday I picked up my fedora from yeoon before heading to Heart of God church to hear the sermon from Pastor How. Great revelations during his sermons about soccer fans and fans of God, and it has been quite a while since i shouted or clapped as loud as I did that Saturday evening (: worship could be improved though :) oh and THANK YOU cherie for buying the sermon CD for me!! :D God bless! After church ate dinner with the cell, where I finished one entire 'large' cup of coke from McDonalds :D spealing of McDonalds, I have yet to collect the cheese/beef shirt that I won! oh well, collection date is well over :< wasn't such a nice shirt anyway (:

Sunday went back to home church where Pastor Richard Witmer preached a very great reminder to all of us about God's purpose and vision for us :) feels like i've really been on fire these few weeks for God :D managed to check out the Khoo Teck Puat hospital on the way home. The food court looks really elegant, great place for studying :D Monday rested at home and went through a new book Jerald lent me, really eager to learn from the book and apply it to real situations :D Tuesday went to the volunteer centre again (:

Yesterday I went to MCYS for hopefully what will be the last time! After alot of talking, my probation officer finally let me off probation! YAY :D and yes the juvenile court wun be pressing any charges against me for breach of probation, so that was double joy (: so now i've no curfew and I can be home past 9pm! But still, I'm praying that school will take me back and the police will drop their charges too :D

I need to start studying and working hard, for myself

The only way to learn leadership is to be a follower

2010-06-23T22:50:00.001+08:00

Monday went to Xinyi's house to tutor her chemistry. I realized that she's getting very inquisitive to the point where I have to use Google to help me find answers, which is a good thing, cause the goal of every teacher is to inbuilt in students a hunger for knowledge to the point where the teacher doesn't know everything. But then I realized I also lost my Organic Chem notes! a 8-page long set of notes which I wrote myself during my secondary school years (I'm sounding very old here lol)! Guess I must start searching all over the place :S

Tuesday went to Marine Parade for fellowship with Jerald. ate KFC for the third time in three days, no wonder my chest has been growing alot lately, but I bet all fats LOL. so anyway, fellowship was good, I think it set up the 'guideline' for my growth in the cell, ministry, church, and most importantly myself with God :)

Today I went back to my primary school to help out in the prefects' camp! As much as I wanted to take the P6s to have a good gauge on their maturity level when they go through the programmes, I took the P2s as Amalina wanted the P6s. Marcus is kind :D so anyway, I guess the P2s grew quite attached to me! Then they started commenting on the pimples on my face..

P6: polka-dot face!
Me: no, it's called pimples..
P6: polka-dot polka-dot!!
Me: yeah, you see that tiny red dot? That's singapore. Further up is Malaysia and then Thailand, so sooner or later you can see the world with my pimples

Of course, that's because they're P2s! If any of you come to me and call me polka-dot face I'll punch u haha

After that went to Northpoint to eat dinner with Xinni and her cousin! Her cousin looks like a troubled Christian in some way.. first impression though XD so we went to Manhattan Fish Market and I ordered Fish n Chips. As usual, the fish market got too much fishes to spare, so the fish they gave was damn dua, can't finish it :< but cool meet-up with Xinni and her cousin :)

XINNI GO RETURN THE BIKINI THING TO WATSONS!

I will fall at Your feet

2010-06-20T22:42:00.001+08:00

ok managed to catch up with a couple of things these few days! managed to watch Toy Story 3! Great story, Pixar seems to make the plot sound like Prison Break o.O although the 'great movie' feeling wasn't there, I suppose it's due to the fact that it's the third installment of the movie, and generally I doubt many people will be that excited and intrigued after two earlier movies with similar toys. Still, I feel it was the best Pixar could come up with, so rated 4 stars from me :)

I also managed to count all my loose change! Yup, I emptied all the coins from my savings box and started counting! The oldest coins I have were from 1985 and the reason why I had so little coins is probably cause I always go arcade XD

$49.75 worth of coins!

Managed to eat the new promotion at LJS too, the new Charboiled Chicken + two normal chicken + fries + drink for $5.90! The charboiled chicken was awesome, but somehow the normal chicken and fries disappointed me.. maybe it was just the branch I was at that cooked it weirdly :O

So anyway, today's sermon was FANTASTIC! :DD kinda sad that I missed a huge part of worship since Paradise Band was there, but the sermon itself about the goodness and severity of God was probably the best sermon I've heard in church for a long time. It really woke me up, revealed alot to me and naturally, allowed me to understand deeper and believe stronger in our God (: I supposed he touched alot on the book of Jeremiah, where the goodness and severity of God was seen and witnessed across its pages, so perhaps I'll start reading up on that soon! I suppose it's common for all Christians to fully indulge themselves in the holy love, grace and mercy that God showers upon us, but the sermon today really put in place in me the fact that My God can be a terrible God, and My God will be a terrible God even to his own people, and My God will be a terrible God to me if I start sinning again against his will, against his majestic power and against his holiness. It really drives the point down to me to fear God, for only when we fear God, for only when we witness or feel the severity and anger of God, can we experience His grace. :When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord." 1 Corinthians 5:5-6 To just summarize what that verse meant, it means that any Christian who continues sinning against the Lord without any remorse nor fear will be delivered to Satan by the Lord HIMSELF. That is a very powerful message I suppose, but I believe it to be true (:

Fault lies not in failing God's command, but in disobeying God's command

movement does not equate to progress

2010-06-16T21:39:00.001+08:00

finding it quite hard recently to blog. Not because i've nothing to blog, but because my schedule is seems to be very pack everyday. Yes, my june holiday schedule is packed, amazingly. Packed with volunteering 3 days a week, church on sundays, outings with friends, researching on the endless depths in understanding of the Seven Deadly Sins, and trying to create a new blog layout. I know I promised it to be up soon, but it's really taking longer than I expected. GIMP brushes can't be put into my GIMP main brush folder yet cause of my dad 'child protection' program which prevents me from adding anything into the C drive itself

OH and YES, the World Cup is keeping me awake (: So far I kinda think Germany will have a shot at the trophy, but Brazil vs DPR Korea match early this morning was really great! World's greatest nation against the worst nation to ever enter the World Cup Finals in terms of FIFA ranking. Match with the greatest gap in world ranking between two nations ever played, and Brazil could only struggle to a 2-1 win over the Asian country That will certainly shorten the odds of Korea :) and I'm really considering asking a friend above 18 to help me bet to Singapore Pools for the sure-win matches.. still finding though :)

Today managed to spend some family time out of the house with my mum sis and bro. Went shopping for 5 hours around AMK Hub, J8 and Northpoint.. bought 6 shirts, 2 books and 2 pens. Still need to buy some ties and a white vest! I'm kind of really set on refurnishing my wardrobe :D oh, and a few necklaces too (=

Toy Story 3

2010-06-11T19:13:00.003+08:00

My favourite characters in Toy Story 3 are the Squeeze Toy Aliens, aka Little Green Men or Three-eye Monsters and Mr. Potato Head.
There were a whole lot of Squeeze Toy Aliens in the Toy Story in the claw crane machine game at Pizza Planet, but three clung onto the crane when it picked Buzz Lightyear. Later on, they were saved by Mr. Potato Head, and thus always viewed him as their hero! I kind of like the way the Squeeze Toy Aliens go 'ooooohhhh'. As for always go 'Mr. Potato Head, I feel it's kinda cute to have your body parts inserted anywhere you want, and can even keep spare parts in you (: He's a grouchy grumpy potato, but his cuteness is more in his actions!

My favourite scene in the trailer is at 0.31, when Mrs. Potato Head ask Twitch for his muscular arm, and Mr. Potato Head becomes jealous and compares his own muscle, only to see his arm drop! so cute ^^ and it's probably the only cute part of the trailer.

Catch Toy Story 3 Movie starting from 17th June 2010 and join the official Facebook and Twitter page!

Read to become fat

2010-06-10T22:33:00.001+08:00

because this post has sweet food in it!! :DD

anyway before I begin the post, can all of you PLEASE go and like my picture at iDreamin contest on facebook! Just like the iDreamin profile and then go like my picture! I really want the lomo camera they are giving out, so yeah help me click click :D

anyway today I went to trybe again to volunteer, but left around 2pm to do some stuffs. That 'stuff' lasted till 4pm, and really really made me unhappy and sad :< so I decided to indulge in my favorite food! :D that's one thing about marcus, give him sweet snacks when he's sad XD

berrylite original flavour yoghurt with strawberry, kokokrunch and honeystar toppings

chicken satay!

oh yar, the part-timer working at berrylite overcharge me 30 cents! but never mind, didn't pursue the matter cause his boss was right behind him XD

reminder for myself - do nuffnang movie blog post on Toy Story 3 soon!

iPhone 4.0

2010-06-09T18:06:00.000+08:00

Steve Jobs unveiled the new iPhone 4 yesterday at WWDC.. can't wait to lay my hands on it after reading and watching all the reviews and videos about it :D tink my dad's gonna buy it for me next month when it enters Singapore market (: then there'll be the problem of ensuring that i never ever drop my phone again :D dun want my antennas to go haywire :<

finisher of DOUBLE

2010-06-07T23:24:00.001+08:00

this is gonna be a short post, so all of you will probably go 'phew, finally no wordy blogpost for ONCE'

Went to TRYBE this afternoon to volunteer again! did data entry as like last time.. so now my volunteerism hours with them stand at 14 hours. Not that the hours count or that I'll be getting a CIP cert or something, but it's just happy to know that I at least spent 14 fruitful hours in my long break (:

after volunteering till 7pm, went to Mountbatten to watch bestie play netball! reached mounbatten MRT station starving and hungry, and suddenly i saw...

and yes, I ordered a Double McSpicy UPSIZE MEAL (: told u i was hungry XD

no unglam pictures of me trying to stuff the double McSpicy into my mouth :P but yes, I managed to finish the burger and got the free cup below (:

after dinner went to Kallang netball centre to watch bestie play.. I feel she's the best player there haha! would probably go thre more often to watch her (: after that went back home. Dad ruined my perfect day with an argument. Dun be surprised, it kinda happens almost everytime I have a happy day. Perhaps I should start rejecting my parents' offer to send me home so that my happy days remain with me as happy memories :D

I have the WORLD CUP STARHUB PACKAGE!!

2010-06-06T23:45:00.002+08:00

alot of feelings and emotions to post today (as usual), but holding it off for just a tiny little bit more because i wanna announce that MY DAD SUBSCRIBED TO THE WORLD CUP 2010 PACKAGE!! WOHOO!! :DD now i'm gonna have all 64 matches shown to me LIVE in my own living room at my own comfort! :D so my house is OPEN to anyone who wanna watch the soccer matches! all u gotta do is to ask me! so simple :D

ok im still in the 'hyper hyper mode' cause I didn't really expect my dad to sign up for the World Cup 2010 package, but YAYYYY!! :DDDDD

back to week's events! Went to CHC at expo on Saturday evening to join Cleo's cell group for service. Although I made alot of comparisons between the way word is carried out in FCBC and CHC, I have to also admit that firstly, true results from comparisons can only be made after prolonged observation! Yes, that is something that has been morally and scientifically proven (: and secondly, the service was pretty short since the church ministries are still pretty tired out after Asia Conference 2010 (it was A BLAST), so I suppose one will be unfair and biased to draw any conclusions from just that one service alone. But I did get the message about David in 1 Samuel 30:6 'And Davis was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God' For the non-Christians out there, the story goes that David and his army comprising of men who volunteered left for battle and achieved victory, but arrived back at their home city to find it burned to the ground and their families carried away by the enemy. Although the men had volunteered to follow David, they were so angry with the grief they had that they wanted to stone David. Now David was filled with sorrow too, because his two wives had been carried away. But instead of blaming the enemy, instead of feeling emotionally and spiritually lost in the burnt city, instead of rushing in anger after the enemy, he sought comfort and encouragement in the LORD his God. And in later verses, he asked the Lord whether he should chase after the enemy.

In normal situations, when given conditions which uncontrollably set us into a world of despair, hopelessness and anger, one should always follow David, and strengthen ourselves in the Lord. Strengthening ourselves in him not to just feel the gap that was once occupied by happiness, but also to feel his warmth, and to know that everything has a purpose, everything has a plan. But asking the Lord how to deal with the situation rightly and righteously is something which most people tend to forget. They find their emotional and spiritual needs in God, but after that, they react instinctively to the situation and conditions thrown upon them without seeking God's advice. So that's something I've learnt from service on Saturday (:

Today was supposed to go FCBC, but spent the whole night editing my blog template and watching television that I was dead tired by the time I had to go to church. Really regretful, lesson learnt. Set my priorities straight and FOLLOW the list you set out for YOURSELF. But yeah, i'm re-doing my entire blog template from scratch. So in the next 2-3 weeks, you wouldn't be seeing me reply much tagboard comments and when the new blog template appears, hopefully all the credits will be to me :D i'm trying to make it as original as possible by typing out everything from scratch! (:

Returning back to the basis of foundation

2010-06-04T23:00:00.002+08:00

Supposed to go for psychiatric check-up before heading to tampines to volunteer, but woke up at around noon, so I postponed the check-up to next monday.. and surprisingly the volunteer centre didn't require me today, so that pretty much freed up my day (: played abit of everything on facebook and neopets. Finally managed to get the above achievement :D so happy with myself, until I found out there were tougher achievements to complete before I get the MVP award :< and yes, the zombies in 'Plants VS Zombies' are damn cute ^__^

But on to something else rather than games, I'm sure most of you would have been aware of the CHC probe, where 17 members are currently being investigated by the authorities regarding discrepancy in financial reports and money matters. It's not a surprising thing, considering that charities and religious organizations have always been under a watchful eye. Ren Ci, NKF, Youth Challenge etc.. money has always been a very sensitive issue in our society and when it comes to these organizations who receive money seemingly from just offerings and givings from the members, the way they spend their money is always under tight scrutiny.

But I'm not going to debate on whatever CHC has done to warrant an investigation into their financial accounts, I'm not going to discuss on whether their $310 million investment in Suntec City is right in the eyes of humans and of God, but I'm blogging here today more to share what I feel about the reactions of the general community, especially Christians. Especially CHCians.

CHC is the largest and probably the richest church in Singapore, and being at the forefront of the nation for the world's largest religion and the world's fastest-growing religion, it does have alot of members. One thing that separates CHC from the other mega-churches in Singapore such as FCBC, New Creation and Lighthouse Evangelism is that it emphasizes alot on its youth sector, and that keeps the church young, vibrant and strong, both in terms of manpower, talents and spiritually. But with a large vibrant young community in the church itself, the church members (in my opinion) seem to be seeking more of God's hand instead of God's face. Some members view God as a mega big Santa Claus, giving out as long as they pray and worship him with all their hearts. But the essence and basis of praying and worshipping is to strengthen one's personal relationship with God, to feel more connected to him as a Father. Blessings are given to those who declare it, but how will these blessings glorify the kingdom of God? Or will it just glorify you alone?

Bringing that topic back to the CHC probe, most CHCians just feel that just because their church is the biggest and richest, it seems to have everything from property to money to people, many people are jealous and want to see the church crumble to its knees when it has lost everything. They blame poison-pens, they blame jealous individuals, they blame enemies of the religion, but when it comes down to the bare skeleton, there's actually no one to blame at all. Probes and investigations are what keeps society in check afterall. Some CHCians console themselves by telling themselves 'Love thy enemy', or 'Sinners of God will be cursed', but honestly there are no enemies and no sinners! Should the investigation yield no results, good! the church has passed the test. Should it produce remarkably negative results, the spirit of God will help the church pull through that situation no doubt! But one should always remember that no matter how blessed the church is, everything was given by God, and one should never commit the sin of pride in basing their personal identities on the materialistic values of the church.

The church is made up of its people. The people themselves are the church. How you respond to your church crisis is a reflection of how the church responds and a true reflection of how spiritually connected you are with God, and how connected God is with the church itself. Only when the people of the church fully get rid of personal instinctive emotions and stay united under God's strength and blessings, can they build a church without walls.

Going to CHC service tomorrow, first one after the news of the probe. Curious to see the general church response (:

The only miracles are those God perform, through you

2010-06-02T20:23:00.001+08:00

I know I haven been blogging! I've been seeing my blog visits drop by half! :< I'm just wondering when a new nuffnang advertisement will appear, the Jipaban one has been on my blog for AGES!

Anyway, went to Mid Valley City in Kuala Lumpur over the weekend as my extended cousin was getting married! Checked into the Gardens hotel, and managed to do A LOT of eating, sleeping and abit of shopping :D I actually chose to sleep on Saturday afternoon instead of shopping, don't ask me why! maybe cause lunch was too full for me.. anyway malaysia food is really really cheap! One McDonald value lunch meal here is SGD$5, and it's only RM5 in Kuala Lumpur! bought a few shirts from the megamall and spent the rest of the time sleeping and reading the bible.. managed to read Book of Genesis finish :)

Arriving back on Sunday night was a good timing, cause my primary school was gonna organize a NE Immersion Camp on the coming Wednesday and needed 11 alumni volunteers and although I found 10 by Friday before I left Singapore, my handphone was spammed with people messaging me that they can't make it last minute! So I had only 2 days to find 5 additional people! :< I really started pressing Phyllis and Yunting to help me find people, and by Monday night I was praying to God to help me, to bless me with abundance in manpower.. by Tuesday night I had exactly 11 people, but what was amazing was that during the camp today, I had 14 volunteers! way more than I expected, so thank you Phyllis and Yunting, and praise God :)

Back-tracking alittle, tuesday I went over to Basia's work place to volunteer (met Mandy on the bus!), and though I wasn't expecting to volunteer the whole day, I decided to stick around since I was free! really love the atmosphere of the working environment, especially with all the cute cute soft toys and the Ikea chairs all around :) I can even msn and facebook while volunteering cause I was doing data entry, how cool \m/

Recently, God has also been speaking to me alot, in terms of kingdom assignments and also prayer needs. This afternoon when I was teaching the P4s how to play chapteh for 2 hours non-stop, I met different types of people: the show-offs, the conservatives, the action-heros, the shy ones and so one.. and instead of viewing as just P4s whom I had to teach chapteh to, I kinda viewed them as people who needed to be saved, people who really needed a personal relationship with God. It struck me that getting kids to know God at an early age is probably better, because when their faith is centralized and stabilized, their emotions are based on their faith, whereas getting into a new faith an a later age will sometimes still result in faith based on emotions. But it's kinda tough for kids to go to church when they have atheistic parents, which is probably why most Christian kids are from the second generation. But whether or not God has specifically blessed me with my position of power and influence over young kids and teenagers to bring more in numbers and prayer to him, it's something I guess I have to pray and find out more about the purpose of God's blessing.

While reading through the Book of Exodus, when Moses first met Lord the God at the mountain top in the wilderness at the bush of fire, I somehow kept getting the re-enforced idea that one must never doubt God, and that one must always have faith in Him no matter what seems to be the future, because the only reason why we will not have faith in Him to prosper us in the future is because of our humanly limitations, where we view our future as controlled by humanly actions and human thoughts instead of from Him alone. But God changes our lives through people, man whom he has created, so it is the human perspective that often leads us into doubt over God's perspective of control, or whether putting faith in God is just a psychological thing that convinces your own mind that everything will be alright.

medium-size cup of Americano

Asia Conference 2010!!

big fat PIG

tomorrow gonna have to go to CGC for my psychiatric assessment, and soon after that I guess will be the result of the police investigation and followed up by the court hearing and judgment! I'm kinda excited and nervous at the same time.. keep faith ^__^

Shall end off with an article which I managed to chance upon while serving the net, from Evangelist Reinhard Bonnke:

Physical optics are not the instruments to perceive God. He is a Spirit. Mortal eyes are too weak to discern the invisible God, the King eternal, immortal, invisible (Colossians 1:15; 1 Timothy 1:17). We have to deal with Him as He is. He who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6).
But there is a better way of seeing. Eyes can play tricks. Plato the greatest of the Greek philosophers said that nothing is ever actually how it looks to us. But Moses endured as seeing Him who is invisible (Hebrews 11:27). If we only believed what we saw, what would a blind man believe? Radio waves fill your room but who would know without a receiver? One of God’s great Bible names is the Lord is there.
God is invisible Spirit, and that is that. It is as useless arguing and expecting God to be what He is not. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29). They are on the track of truth – God is like that if we are to know Him

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

2010-05-28T02:11:00.002+08:00

Asia Conference was really a huge change for me although I could only go for two out of the five days in total, but Pastor Phil Pringle's spiritual blessing session on Thursday night really gave me the chance to offer God what I've never offered before, and in return I received what I've never received before. I received visions, very vivid and realistic visions of what I was to do for future events, future adventures, future steps of faith and future inspirations to others.

Asia Conference, probably the best thing that has ever happened to my life besides accepting Christ

For I believe that I am the Church

2010-05-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

"Lord Jesus Christ,

You alone are worthy to open the scrolls of history,

for You were slain and have redeemed us to the Father by Your blood.

We confess that You are Head of the Church and Lord of all heaven and earth.

May people from every tribe and language become Your followers

so that Your blessing brings transformation among all peoples.

Let Your kingdom be established in every nation of the world

so that governments will rule with righteousness and justice.

And may Your Name be great, from the rising of the sun to its setting.

Jesus Christ, You are the Saviour of the world and the Lord of all"

What does it really mean to you to surrender it all?

What does it really mean to be holy and righteous?

What does it really mean to you to be courageous in the face of the devil?

What does it really mean to build a church without walls?

What does it really mean to sacrifice your all for the Lord?

What does it really mean for you, to be the one to change our generation?

you cant balance on opposite ends, because you'll just split apart

2010-05-20T21:14:00.003+08:00

How often is it, that we question ourselves, question our hearts and question our souls on what we're doing, what we're saying and what we have been through? The purity of love, friendship and relationships often contaminated and blacken by the harsh brutality of lust, betrayal and greed.. it just brings us about to wonder whether our next step in life is going to be as life-changing as our previous steps were.

Impressions and observations are always a part of life, and it affects how we judge, communicate and socialize with people. But just because certain personal judgments seem to occur somewhat similarly to common groups of people, it does not always mean that the entire group has that common factor as a trait, because this is where stereotyping begins, and I personally do not believe in stereotyping. There's a big difference between classification and stereotyping. In a simple case, if you're telling me that blondes have blonde hair, that's a classification, but saying that all blondes are dumb, that's a stereotype. Bring it up a further level and we see ourselves at a situation most guys are faced with; just because a certain chiobu refuses to reply ur sms/msn, it does not stereotype them to the common observation that all pretty girls are reserved or bitchy in a way. Personal stereotyping is more often than not what causes us to view the world in a different way, most of the times negatively :<

I went over to Victoria Secondary School on monday and tuesday to help facilitate a CIP programme, and given Victoria's reputation, I was expecting a classroom environment similar to that of RI. Strangely enough, two days of observations proved me darn wrong. Secondary 3s acting like childish idiots who playfully associate gang names and sex-related terms to their everyday lives having the same attitude in front of external people who were there to teach them on how to be more proactive and considerate. But it will be wrong for me to say that Victoria guys are assholes and sick bastards who ought to be castrated the moment they hit 18. Moreover, besides not stereotyping them, I suddenly had a vision in the classroom on Monday, where I could see these 'assholes' outside the gates of the Lord, and it was something like Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. At the final battle, where the middle earth black assholes surrounded the humans in a circle, preparing for battle, and Aragon just rushed out to battle. In my vision, the circle were enclosed by God's pearly white gates, while outside the gates people continued to be harmful and sinful.. It just struck me that we as Christians will always have a huge task ahead of us in saving those around us and after that, those beyond us.

The Christian books which I have been borrowing have given me a great deal of insight on scientific and philosophical questionings and debates between atheists and theists.. it somehow just gave me a comforted cushion of knowledge to rest upon in knowing that I'm drawing closer and more faithful to the Lord, but despite feeding my hunger for knowledge, it just deepens the dept of my knowledge pool, allowing and wanting me to know more and more and MORE! looks like in the future, most of my $$ will be going to books instead of clothes lol..

anyway, going to IMH tomorrow for psychiatric assessment. Not that I'm mental, just that the police needs to have a 'complete and accurate picture' about me, and IMH is like the only public sector organization that provides accurate psychiatric assessments besides CGC and MCYS.. wish me luck :D

Refreshened by the fresh heart and spirit, yet yearning for the benefits of temptations

2010-05-16T21:08:00.000+08:00

Yesterday met up with my dad's friend's family from Malaysia, so we went to Furama Riverfront for the 'all-you-can-eat' buffet lunch! =D it was really great seeing them, considering the fact that the last time I saw them, I wasn't even 1.5m tall >< anyway, food was good, though somehow I regret not trying the ice-cream cause I was having a slight headache D: I've been eating alot of rich food lately! Went to Seoul Garden for mother's day, then the buffet yesterday, and Xinyi's dad is treating me to a Japanese restaurant for dinner some time this week. Maybe I should start taking photos of all the food I eat :)

Ok so anyway Pastor's words today were quite striking to me in a peculiar way. Over the past week I've been battling with my inner holy soul against bringing myself into a situation where I am surely to sin, because I know I am not strong enough to resist the benefits of the temptations the devil throws at me. Of course every temptation has its own benefits, all short-term great reaping benefits, which makes the power of the devil very strong when it comes to luring innocent souls into the traps of temptations. The strength of my faith in God leading me into a holy and righteous live was really put to the test this week, right up to the limits. People have always been able to reason out short-term benefits from long-term benefits, the question is in whether the choose to believe in their reasonable logic and whether they are faithful and patient enough to reap the long-term benefits. Back to myself, I have to confess that I have fallen into the devil's trap not once, not twice, but 6 times this week alone. But still, I can feel God giving me chances yet and yet again to prove myself right, allowing me only to brush the surface of the trap's crunching claws. The demonic power of temptation as we all know is the natural human instinct of getting addicted to stuff that we like, and normally the short-term benefits of these temptations we fall into get us so addicted that we lose ourselves into it, falling deeper and developing a devilish soul until we have the strength again to overcome, to repent, to come before the Lord, lay all at his feet and bare everything for him to see.

This is where Pastor's words really struck me today, in the peculiar way I mentioned, because it all just seemed so relevant to my life it was as though God prepared the message for me! The title of the sermon was readily available 7 weeks ago, that 'You Can Be Happy', but the way it found its aim and struck me at the core of the heart is amazingly accurate. Basically the 'long sermon cut really really short' version is that God will replace our hardened stone heart with a heart of flesh. A heart of flesh filled with spiritual and sanctification, a soft and tender heart able to be penitent and sensitive. But not only will the Lord replace our heart, he will replace our spirit, enabling us to have enlightening understanding of the people around us, renewed minds to the lost souls surrounding us and a refined will to strive us on to glory for the kingdom of God! =D

'Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life' Proverbs 4:23 The heart is obviously just not the physical well-being and the physical state of the heart, whether you get a heart disease or channel burst in the heart is not the primary concern as the bible is trying to relate to here. It is the spiritual well-being, the holy state of your heart, mind and body all summed up together into that simple organ. Sometimes, after I know I have really sinned badly against God and affected all around me, I can even envision my heart being ash-black, as though it has been burned from the embers of fire that once kept it warm, cheerful and charming. The choking vision of what your heart can become is not just my imagination, but it is in truth something which will happen to us the further and deeper we fall into the devil's temptations. I'm still finding it very hard to stare away from the claws of the traps, the claws which seem so inviting as they're disguised by the beauty of roses and nature. But I know what lies beneath the facade and what lies ahead beneath the trap.. the question is, am I strong enough?

After church and cell today took the bus back home, then decided to go to the library. I'm really really excited about the upcoming Global Day of Prayer and 40 Days of Faith! But I just dun want to be a 'insert-CD' guy when it comes to 40 DOF, I want to be a source of information, wisdom and knowledge where people can have their initial doubts solved and fully commit their lives to the cross where they will embark on their spiritual journey in the relationship with God. So I went to the computer and searched for books related to 'Christianity'.. about 300 results turned up, and more than three-quarters of the books were 'missing'. Not 'on loan', but 'missing'. That means either there are so many people interested to know about the Lord, or maybe Christians are just bad library users :< anyway managed to borrow three books, shall start reading them tonight :)

CIP at Victoria sec tomorrow.. hope all goes well :>

self-doubts raise self-confidence and vice versa

2010-05-12T20:50:00.003+08:00

I won the McDonald shirt!! The one given away from the 'beef or cheese' contest thingy that McDonald's was organising.. honestly, the shirt is hell ugly, but who cares.. it's a free shirt up for grabs (: the last time I won a lucky draw was back in P6 when i won an authentic Manchester United jersey because i submitted 23 entry slips LOL

so anyway, I was actually planning to blog yesterday about all the revelations and stuff that I've thought of, processed and reflected upon throughout the week, mostly in terms of love and sexuality, with a slight reference to the Christian Bible. I'm still trying to keep all my self-reasoning strictly logical, and to take accounts and verses from the Bible only when it fully fits what I'm trying to say or feel, which is something like using my thoughts for the scripture, instead of vice versa. But then I got writer's block (for the first time since I started blogging seriously) as there were just so many things to process and re-process and re-re-process because I normally don't have a keyboard in front of me when I process stuff, and hence due to my abstinence from writing for almost over half a year, most thoughts and revelations go processed and then kaput! into the recycling bin in my brain. someone should sponsor me a laptop :P

Recently i've also started to notice that when I blog about my own reflections and revelations, I tend to write with a certain intellectual barrier separating me from the readers. I seem to sometimes forget that since I am writing about my own reflections, I should make it a thorough detailed post instead of something like 'doesn't take a genius to find out what I realized'. Must change my style of writing I guess, something I've learnt over the past week too :)

OK now to current affairs =D went to lan with zhiyang lester and jerald today at marine parade. I think I'm developing a psychological barrier that makes me unable to play first-shooter games anymore, because after a few maps of L4D2, the dizziness made me puke, literally. Thank God I was able to make it out of the LAN shop before puking out my instant noodles breakfast. But still, now I should fast from first-person shooter games.. Don't think I can really take it anymore :<

Research on the seven deadly sins have been really bumpy.. very deep and analytical, so trying to compress some stuff without too much reference to the Bible but at the same time, processing the thoughts that run though my brain as I read about each intriguing sin. Damn I need a laptop.

with the strong armour of God, the only things that affect me will only be the things I allow to affect me

2010-05-05T00:00:00.001+08:00

watched Iron Man 2 with 01-06 yesterday at J8. pretty ok movie, but I just keep feeling something was missing from the movie.. still cant figure out what that is though. But Scarlett Johansson would have looked better in the catsuit if she slimed down abit more, or perhaps the director wanted her to be 'not too fat, but still muscular'. But still, besides all the smart-mouth quotes like 'get your own roof' and 'exit the doughnut', the one that really made me think throughly was 'It was your fault, but I apologise'. Doesn't take a genius to figure out why that struck me so much, or a rocket scientist to figure out how it struck me and the realizations that came with it as I relate the quote to my life. In a way, I see myself in the movie. Smart-mouth, textbook narcissist, sweet-talker... a very out going personality that enables me to be very social and easy-going no matter the environment. But as the movie has shown, sometimes when it gets out of hand, even when you don't think anything is wrong, people start leaving you, tired of your ways and personality. So perhaps the most important lesson was to keep in moderation the smart mouth :D wow this realization would probably make most of you happy, considering how I always seem to be able to suan my friends out of nothing XD I'll rate the movie 3.5

Beat my own traffic rush high score on Xinyi's iPhone :D anyway, Jerald at my house today staying overnight, so one whole night of fellowship and maybe worship i guess (: I'm still researching on the seven deadly sins, so I suppose it'll take some time before I blog about it =)

2010 Plan Review 1

2010-05-01T03:29:00.002+08:00

- Serve God's Kingdom more actively
>reading the bible and praying alot more, but i suppose more can be done

- Get attached to a CIP organization
> deciding between rainbow center or cerebral palsy center

- Resist the temptation of technology addiction and lust to triumph Satan
> have made great leaps of improvements, but with every look into the deeper understanding of the devil and angel, the more you feel the strength of the devil's lure towards temptation itself

- Change at least 5 people's lives
> perhaps three so far (:

- Make at least 5 new friends
> overshot already HAHA

- Reconnect with at least 5 people I've lost touch with
> three i guess?

- Have lunch with at least 1 friend per fortnight
> everyone's too busy with school

- Bring at least 5 people to church to hear God's word (:
> one so far, maybe another one this month!

- Have at least 1 hour of quiet time with Him everyday
> trying to keep it as a commitment

- Jog at least 1 hour and play sports at least 1 hour every week
> stopped for awhile.. maybe i'll get back to it :D

- Study at least 1 hour per day
> oops, should get back to it too!

- Not to use colourful language
> very very very very very minimal

- Not to point the middle finger
> succeeded

- Keep short fingernails
> succeeded

- Sit on The Ultimate Bungy
> not yet

- Go to Wild Wild Wet
> not yet

- Pay for the movie ticket of the person behind me in the queue
> not yet HAHA

- Help Amelia ace N lvls
> trying

- Help Huiqi ace O lvls
> smart enough without my help currently (:

- Help Huiqi's and my sister to ace PSLE
> abit tough leh, teach teach teach, nothing go in

- Set short/middle/long term goals for Northland Alumni
> set already, but introducing it as a formal structure is another thing altogether i guess..

- Set short/middle/long term goals for myself
> maybe someday i'll get right on it =)

- Open a bank account
> not yet :(

- Find out how the stock market works
> not yet :(

Because I fear God, and trust in His name, I will never be confused

2010-04-26T22:24:00.003+08:00

Back in Rome, when the greatest empire the world has ever known was at its peak, the slave market was most probably the most publicized, apart from gold and crowns. Basically, when you bought a slave, you could do anything to him/her. It's like buying a soft-toy in the modern day and you're allowed to do anything to it, including sexual abuse and physical assault. The financial wealth of a person during those days were commonly measured by the number of slaves he had, aside from the number of gold chests he could hold.

Let's picture a typical day at the market, where a podium has been set up and a range of slaves have been ordered to stand on the podium and hold a sign displaying their price, and the slave master shouting to the typical sunday busy market crowd about the goods he has for sale. Among the slaves, there was a pretty lady, a lady with the air of poise and beauty surrounding her that even those who were too poor to afford slaves stopped by to stare at her marvelous beauty and figure. For such a perfect lady with a perfect figure to be standing on a podium normally reserved for slaves, you can probably imagine that she may have been born into a slave family, or perhaps was unwillingly sold by her family to pay off debts they owe to debtors, for in Rome the money-lenders charged very high interest and would normally reduce the debt by accept slaves. You also have to imagine that such a lady who was introduced into the slave industry would probably have been sexually abused day and night on a daily basis, with strangers having sex with her to fill the coffers of her current owner. Remember, a slave does not have any right. She does not even have the right to reject being raped or assaulted or murdered. Her life and death is not even in her own hands.

So on that typical market day she stands on the slave podium, up for sale to any rich potential bidders who might find an interest in her that lasted longer than just a few minutes. To increase the crowd's attention, the slave master would probably have dressed her in very revealing clothes, or perhaps just her undergarments, or maybe nothing at all. But yet she is forced to stand with such poise and uprightness despite the luring of sex-hungry males among her, fantasizing about her should they only be able to afford her. Then, a rich man strolls through the crowd, with the crowd naturally dispersing before him as the gold loitering around his clock sweeping the ground and the crown balancing in his well-groomed hair clearly showed his status. He stops by the slave market, stares at the lady, and after a brief haggle with the slave master, buys the lady slave. The slave master hands the rich man the certificate of ownership, which certifies that he now owns the slave. Just as they were leaving, the lady spits on the man's face and shouts: 'I will never serve you!' Imagine the anger, frustration, hatefulness and spitefulness that the lady has been holding ever since she became a slave. A wonderful future among the richness of rich men trying unsuccessfully to garner her attention all destroyed at the moment the title 'slave' was thrown upon her. The anguish and humiliation that she controlled when she was brutally assaulted by gangs of men and bodies of roughness. The pain and suffering that she endured while she held on to her clothes and painfully cried why her life had to be this way. And now she had to go through everything again with another rich hot-blooded male who could afford her.

The man took out his gold-laced handkerchief and wiped away the spit. Next, he took the certificate of ownership in both hands and tore in apart right in front of her eyes, right in front of the slave owner and right in front of the market of Rome. He said to her: 'You are no longer a slave. You are free'. Then he turned and started to walk into the midst of the crowd. For a moment, the lady stood there looking at the pieces of paper on the floor that was once a certificate that controlled her life. Her freedom had suddenly been restored to her in a flash when she was expecting to go through another lifetime of enduring pain and anguish. Just then, she ran up to the rich man, knelt before him and said: 'Will you allow me to serve you all my life, on my own will and on my own accord?' And the rich man said: 'It is your freedom, it is your will'. And the man and lady left the market square both pleased with the day's happenings.

The man with the gold splendor and crown of jewels was Jesus Christ, and the price he paid for my freedom was his blood. The blood of Jesus Christ, so heavenly and sweet, was sacrificed for you and me, for us to be able to do our will. But my will is not mine, but His, for my life is His. I am willing to do His will, for His will surpasses my will and will never harm me. At times while serving him, we may wish that we never offered to serve Him unconditionally and whole-heartedly. But we just have to remember the sacrifice he paid for us, and that alone is more than enough for us to throw up our arms, lay down at his knee and worship him and taste His bread.

Today perhaps, I hear the Lord's calling to review my 2010 vision and perhaps also, to reflect on the 7 deadly sins that I've been so interested in since the end of last year. So from this post onwards, there will be 7 posts, each about each particular sin. The title of the posts will merely be the name of the sin, and through God's calling and will, I will spread the word of the Lord and serve him whole-heartedly.

Next post tomorrow will be a review of my 2010 plan (:

beneath the facade is perhaps a greater truth

2010-04-21T21:56:00.006+08:00

yesterday went to xinyi's house again to tutor her again. it's amazing how there can be three coffee shops near her house, but I get bored of all of them by the second day. im not really a fussy eater actually, just that I'm pretty peculiar of the cooking, taste and service, which sometimes makes me seem like a fussy eater.. so anyway, her dad reached home just as I was about to go off, and our 'fast game' of chinese chess lasted 35 minutes, so I was hopping late and rushing home, but managed to reach home before curfew (= that particular chess game taught me quite a few strategies and lessons, both in the game itself and life, but I won't really be lamenting on the lessons I learnt because it'll just be another super duper long essay which probably most of you would somehow have read or seen before in other words of expressions written by others.
today went to marine parade to play lan. woke up at 6.40 just to play lan, marcus is getting seriously addicted, but at least he has a partner in crime, jerald =D since the $1/hr lan shop was close although it was supposed to have opened an hour earlier, we headed to another lan shop which charged $1.50/hr. 10th floor of the building, and the view was nice! how often do you enter a lan shop where u can have a view of the sea? but the view wasn't what struck me most. The thing that struck me most was the assistant's attitude. Most lan shop assistants are typical ahlians who probably got kicked outta school or voluntarily got kicked out and that's their only source of income, or pretty ladies who wear skimpy clothes who work there because they have no other job, and they refuse prostitution. but the assistant at this lan shop was pretty, kind, helpful and interactive. How often do you see lan shop assistants getting praised, besides those who are the victims of flirts? I seriously wun mind going back to that lan shop again, even if it charges more, because the service is \m/

played DotA with jerald, 2V3. pwned the AI ass upside down cause I keep triple-killing with drow ranger lol. after that played L4D2 where I had the time to explore, understand and remember the tips and tricks of the first two maps. I think I'm getting pretty good with spitter, managing to survive through 4-5 spits before being found out. Next lan session will be the last 3 maps :) after that we played starcraft since the lan shop didn't have generals, and red alert couldn't be connected cause of similar CD codes. Although Jerald and I both love RTS games, starcraft is like a few generations down the pipeline in terms of rts games, so not as fantastic and informative as other games like generals, which is perhaps why i pwned jerald LOL

after that went to thomson plaza pizza hut to see xinni. her friend damn mean! her name is peggy and she stole xinni away from me :< I caught them holding hands!! :'( but though the pizza was excellent (come on, it's pizza hut we're talking about), the service was horrible. I shan't comment on the horrible service here cause I dun wanna break xinni's heart LOL, but yeah the thomson plaza pizza hut branch can improve loads.. too bad jerald and I are such food service critics HAHA

spent 2 weeks worth of savings today, majority going to the $17 for the pizza meal. HO XINNI U OWE ME OK!

with satisfied with sufficiency, and you will be successful

2010-04-19T21:28:00.005+08:00

thanks to patrick for taking this shot of me ^^ nice to see your new facebook name too XD

anyway, yesterday was really an eye-opener for me, just like most other random days when you expect nothing much to happen. but hey, that's the beauty of life, when things happen and realizations occur when you do not expect them in the course of your day and life.

yesterday pastor was talking about success, not in terms of wealth and power, but in terms of faith and glorifying our one and only Father in heaven. it really spoke truly to me, especially when on saturday night my mum suggested I read the daily devotion from City Harvest Church, and the first bible phrase at the front of the booklet was 'Be still, and know that I am God.' Psalm 46:10. Of course, it may seem like a simple phrase to all, but the deep meaning and satisfaction of it does bring stillness in my heart. Stillness not in the sense of stagnantation, but stillness in the sense of coolness, where I can be totally calm and relaxed. So anyway, the daily devotion my mum pointed out to me was talking about spiritual allergies, things which mankind often indulge in which are actually making us sinful and harming ourselves, and so we must make ourselves allergic to them and make an effort to steer away from stuff we are spiritually allergic to. Im especially proud of huishi for finally committing her life to Jesus in a church :) three cheers for her! ^__^

After service, lester gave word and clifford prayed for me. I somehow suddenly had a vision of Clifford being a senior pastor, giving wise words to the people around him, but at the same time making an active effort to know each and everyone of the people he's talking to despite his business. Just a vision, but maybe a realistic one :) Lester unexpectedly asked me to give thanksgiving, and I suddenly realized I had much to thank God for, even though it may not only be beneficial to me. After service I was about to walk through the first challenge that God had thrown to me for the week, but I kept asking myself whether I was ready enough to walk through the first and toughest challenge. God probably knew my wavering confidence and faith and thus threw away the first challenge, instead allowing me to go relax and lan with jerald lester jianxin and huishi as spectator. DotA seems to be a thing of the past already :< but since L4D2 and command and conquer is just as fun, who cares! :D

today went to xinyi house to tutor her. her father damn cool and intellectual! I really liked her dad and had a really interesting discussion with him about the volcanic eruption in Iceland over late lunch (my second lunch actually, since I ate at home before going out). Played with him Chinese Chess twice before teaching Xinyi math and chem.. their house is really cosy and cool! must go there more often to enjoy the state of coolness it brings to me :>

not going tomorrow's lan session to tutor xinyi again. just another student, with another whole lot of hope and wishes that she'll become smarter than me :D

challenges are there to prove your strengths. and your weaknesses

2010-04-17T21:24:00.008+08:00

went for ORA funfair at RGS this morning. I actually wanted to reach rgs at 9am since normally the hype of the funfair is around that time, particularly since the raffles community are such early birds! so I was supposed to wait for ruimin at northpoint at 0945, but miss queen of lateness arrived at 1051, so yeah she was 66 minutes late. During that time I was busy playing arcade. considering that one car race is around 4/5 minutes and costing $1 each, i spent around $10-12 waiting for her ._. RUIMIN ALL YOUR FAULT OK!

so anyway, we reached RGS at about 1045, counting about 22 millipedes on the sidewalk on the way to the bus-stop. I shall skip all the details about me attempting to win prizes through the games and instead tell you that I won all my prizes by buying them LOL! I find it more worthwhile this way, cause the challenges that the students always come up with are... raffles standard lol, and im not 100% raffles material ><

so at RGS, managed to catch russell, patrick, dexter, yeoon, angie, sup, miin and yunfei. Didn't really expect to see much people considering the time that we went (ruimin lar ><), but being back in the raffles community does bring my both joy and sadness. I really miss the community, I miss the buzz and cheerfulness, the projects and stress, the friends and besties and most importantly, the bonds and times we all share. I can really feel the love and concern from all my friends (: I'll update you all on my situation asap ok? catch up with you all one by one =D

squeeze toy aliens.. i'm naming him Green-eye monster :D

Mr. Bump shall be called Mr. Bump! and im giving him away to a special someone <3

i gave my ahma the two soft-toys and she starts stacking them lol. cute \m/

yay it's their birthdays today! 2, 1 and 0 years old respectively!! :DD

God seems to be throwing me an awful lot of challenges at one go, all testing the same weaknesses and hopefully testing my strengths as well. Just pray that I'll go through these series of challenges successfully and be a better man of myself and of God. But if I fail, what's next?

creating strengths and weaknesses from the temptress

2010-04-14T22:53:00.004+08:00

Yesterday I made the biggest mistake I have ever made to a friend. A friend who holds me high in her trust, but yet I abused it. But if a right results from a wrong, is it ok for a BIG right to result from a BIG wrong act? I just kept thinking and thinking about it, but sometimes I just need to stop thinking, cause it's already over. I've already committed the worst act a friend can do, and now I have to hope and pray that the BIG right will result from it. It can never be worthwhile. The pain and suffering that she went through and will go through throughout her life can never be worth the experience and life changing lesson, but yet it's the best that will happen to her, which leads back to the question, are you willing to go through the worst experience you can ever have in your life if the lessons you learn from it can change your life for the better forever?

Yesterday I realized about myself. I realized that being stuck at home has slowly changed me into a annoying impatient selfish suspicious person. I still feel good in me, such as wanting to carry a heavy load for an elderly lady I met after I alighted from the bus, or guiding people to places when they are unfamiliar in the area, but that good is just not strong enough to conquer the selfish and impatient feeling that I had, and although I really wanted to help them, I did not, because I had to rush for other personal appointments. I still feel damn bad about it, and I feel myself changing. Maybe I just need to pray more, do my daily devotion and stuff, which I haven been doing for about 4-5 days cause I've been sleeping early, and normally and pray aloud in my own room when it's in the middle of the night, when it's quiet and peaceful.

So from tomorrow onwards, Im going to put my foot down ON THE DEVIL and start a new lifestyle :D more physical activities, more pursuing of interests, more involvement and interaction with God and finally more fun in my life (=

Interview this morning for the PARTNERS Award validation for my primary school went pretty ok, managed to meet up with the other school partners during the interview itself. But it's kinda embarrassing when the OIC of the interview asks u how many alumni members you have and you say 1'500, but when he asks you how many active ones there are, you're forced to tell the truth and say 50. that's like 3% ><

Just now in the evening went to dhoby ghaut to play L4D2 with jerald matthew clifford and amos. damn fun, and I think I played pretty well for a first timer :D managed to get like 243 points at one point when I used spitter and spit at all of them when the survivors were in an enclosed room lol. But still, hope someone's kind enough to gimme the game on a thumbdrive! need to practise and become a pro! (= new addiction BEWARE!

Tomorrow will be a great day, because it's gonna be the start of a new change in my life.

knowingly entering the pitfall of the temptress

2010-04-12T18:32:00.007+08:00

hello!! sorry for not blogging for one entire week! Not that marcus has been stoning at home the entire 7 days, but because the porn filter in my computer suddenly decided to block websites such as blogger and photobucket, so I couldn't access blogger till my dad removed it from the filter manually, which he did yesterday (:

when out with yvonne last monday to orchard to go shopping. Forgot to take $$ from my mum so ended up window shopping and food sampling. Catched the movie When in Rome at Causeway Point. quite a stupid movie really, basically showing a blonde workaholic getting coins from the love fountain in paris, which encharmed 5 guys to fall in love with her, including an artist who decided to paint a nude picture of her along a popular street. so yeah, rating about 3 stars

Went to watch How to train you Dragon with mum and sissy last wednesday after her school ended. All about a little puny little guy living among vikings, and manages to be the first ever viking to catch a rare dragon, only to pity him and train him to be his little pet dragon. Rating: 3 stars.

Last Friday was Northland Primary's 23rd annual sports day, so I went down to join in the alumni race. Woke up at 1200, so didn't have time for breakfast and only managed to eat a bowl of laksa cause I didn't really wanna eat too much before the race. Turned out to be a big mistake cause when the 400m race started, I sprinted the first half of the race before turning dizzy due to lack of energy. Dizziness + running at top speed = falling down. Thankfully I still got second place (: another medal in my cabinet :D

Went to my relatives side in kuantan, malaysia for qingming over the weekend. Managed to see a few cousins and my new-born niece peiqi :D

adam apple damn big

the journey has finally started, the train running its course. the journey of faith and belief which many has anticipated. But am I ready?

even an everlasting flame has its difference in intensity

2010-04-03T07:00:00.003+08:00

Went for psychiatric assessment on thursday at MCYS, which really meant alot to me, because it indicates that finally my case investigation is picking up, people are on track to solving this whole pile of bulls**t and that the end is drawing nearer and nearer. Or is it just the beginning?

The assessment was fairly okay, though as like most assessments I tend to speak my mind freely without any hesitation, which is why I do not see the utter need to have any preparation for any kind of assessment, cause I believe that when you are forthrightly upfront with the views and thoughts in your mind, you get the most accurate and precise assessment, no matter how disadvantageous it is to you. So anyway, divulged quite a number of secrets during the session which I thought I would keep personally for alittle longer, not just until now. Revealing these secrets bring the joy of having a burden removed from my heart of concealing the truth from others, but also brings about another burden because I know that these secrets may affect me negatively in terms of the outcome of the psychiatric assessment. The psychiatrist was quite nice though, as most psychiatrist are (= maybe talking to female psychiatrists are better than talking to male ones cause somehow, they always tend to gimme the feeling that they understand what I'm talking, and most of the time, peers and friends dun understand what I'm talking when I get too intellectual into reflection and my own personal thoughts.

But perhaps that's why the psychiatrist got her license, cause she can understand what im talking :D understanding intellectual reflections bring about more questions which digs further into my inner soul and asks me more about myself, and sometimes even asking me things that I've never thought about before (kinda rare for marcus not to think about stuff). One thing I hate about psychiatric assessments though, is that it's always about ME. me me me. Im the kind of guy who wanna understand everything and everyone, why stuff happens the way it did and not way the way it didn't and etc, so it sucks when both parties in the room are trying to understand ME alone, when i know NOTHING about the psychiatrist at all! not that I can do anything about it, but perhaps sessions would have been more comfortable if it was a conversation instead of a one-party confession. another assessment next tuesday, have alot to think about ><

yesterday was GOOD FRIDAY! :DD it makes exactly one year after I was born in the eyes of Christ. One year of doubtfulness, wavering faith, shakable beliefs and groundbreaking changes in terms of my personal mindset. I find myself slightly closer to God, and I find my life changing bit by bit, though not entirely yet. I went through alot of reflections today during the party, especially during Janice's testimony, which I could really closely relate to! Cold war with parents is obviously nothing new to most teenagers. But the way my life is heading, I can only trust that God has a purpose and a plan for us all, and that we will become stronger spiritually and emotionally based on the temptations, challenges and obstacles we overcome. But still, marcus will always have doubts about everything. including God. including himself.

Maybe i should pray harder to Him, because I find myself getting more emotionally frustrated and pissed whenever I return home. I find myself drawing closer to God and his community, my cell, my cell leader, the words of the bible and to the Holy Spirit, but I also find myself drawing further and further away from my family :<

The vital point is that whether the reason is reasonable! I do see and understand the reason behind my time curfew, that I've to be back home by 2100 everyday. I do understand the reason why I've to go through psychiatric assessments despite being assessed 4 times already. But i just dun see the reasonable aspect of my dad putting a time restriction on my computer from 0600 - 2300 and also setting up a porn filter which somehow blocks up sites that are informational and educational but doesn't block up the real deal. And I dun get why out of the MANY computers in our house, only MY computer has these restrictions. I see the reason: to keep track of me, to keep me from growing astray blah blah blah! BUT it is not reasonable to say that your 17-year old son needs these restrictions because you feel that he needs it. The whole family knows that I love the peace and quiet of the night, a time where I can enjoy a period of self-relaxation without bothering about anything else, a period of prayer where I can read the bible without being disturbed or giving the impression that I'm just showing off, a period of calm which I need personally, to give myself quiet time with myself and the Lord. So I just dun see why I can't use the computer at night when I need it to understand my prayers deeper! It's just so maddening for me to see my dad always saying 'no' when I request for him to remove the restrictions, to reason out my needs (not wants) with no avail and to have the impression that he DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK about what I truly need, but only as to what he thinks I need.

I just feel so bogged down by it >.<

The hand of the Lord redeems us, the POWER of the Lord delivers us!

2010-03-31T19:29:00.007+08:00

I seem to be blogging only once a week lately, mostly on thursdays :<

Went to meet Jerald for lunch at Northpoint Breek's cafe last friday, was in a fluster cause I overslept and I couldn't find my white skinnies, so I had to forgo my nice shirt and just wear a normal shirt and jeans. yes u all know marcus is VERY particular about his clothes. Anyway, had a rather lively and in-dept about God and the cults who disbelieve in God being the Almighty God. Somehow, Jerald is just one of the handful of people whom I truly admire for being smarter than me. I know that there are tons of people I know personally who are better and smarter than me, but the respect and admiration that I reserve for certain people is much more important than the intelligence that these people display arrogantly, which is why maybe I'm so humble (=

After lunch went to ice-skate with ruimin celine gavin vincent danny flavian and jeanie. Decided to bring Jerald along since he had nothing on in the afternoon (filming was cancelled) and I really wanted to talk to him more than just the time we had over lunch. It was my second time ice-skating, and somehow the longer i skated, the more I felt I was losing the hang of it ><

sunday went to church, and brough huishu KUKUBIRD along. Im kinda of glad that she turned up, despite her being a church-hopper. Yes she may have read almost the whole bible, but I guess it's almost impossible for someone to understand the whole bible entirely! the phrases that interlink so much that sometimes they contradict (which is also a point as to why some cults do exist), and the underlying meaning and meanings of every single phrase and sentence is very diverse and at the same time complicated in a sense of spiritual meaning. So anyway, Pastor Melvyn was giving a sermon about how tithing can release revivial in our lives. Perhaps the strongest sentence he said in a joking manner was that Martin Luther King Jr. (the guy who went all the way for civil rights in America, if you still dunno your history ><) once said that every person goes through 3 conversions: the mind, heart and the WALLET. I thought pastor was joking, so I snatched kukubird's iPhone and checked it on google.. and it turned out to be TRUE! lol.. in a way God has given me surplus in terms of money recently. I found a long-lost receipt that enabled me to claim $100, and my father generously agreed to change my malaysian riggit from my angbaos for a rate higher than 2.4! must remember to donate some $$ into the tithe bag this coming easter sunday :D

speaking of easter, I'm gonna bring kukubird for my cell's Good Friday harvest! hopefully she'll like the cell and finally settle down in FCBC where she can live under God's watchful eye and grow up to be a prosperous lady in terms of spirit and holiness. Wanted to invite ruimin and celine as well, but the former doesn't really believe in the beliefs of religion (sounds like me in the past, now I understand the difficulty Amos had when he tried convincing me to go to church), while the latter is having her grandma's bdae celebration. damn maybe I'll invite them some other time :D

Tuesday was Gloria's birthday.. the only person from my primary school who bothered to send me a bdae msg via sms, so yeah, this special pink dolphin is for you :D thank God your grandma knows how to speak chinese, if not she'll probably think I was a young guy trying to break into the house and steal everything :x

Had lunch with Vivian at Breek's cafe again yesterday.. service was slightly better but the chicken was still awful :<

gonna play L4D2 tmr with cell mates and Good Friday party on Friday!! I'M DAMN EXCITED ABOUT IT :DD hope my boyfriend goes to church this easter sunday too <3

remember me

2010-03-25T16:54:00.006+08:00

Yesterday went out with celine ruimin angie vincent and gavin. Went to chomp chomp to eat where we spent approx $60+? After that went to cineleisure to play arcade then watch the movie 'remember me'. I'm SO GLAD celine begged us to watch this movie, cause this movie will be only the second movie I've ever given a 5-star rating to, the first being 不能说的秘密

Watching Pierce Brosnan acting on the cinema screen is really cool though, I never though I'll see him on any film besides 007.I won't really be writing a synopsis of the movie, cause it can be easily found on the internet and you should really watch the movie if you really want to have the real feel of it. But during the movie, I found God strongly speaking to me in a way I never would have thought possible when out with buddies, but then again, that's perhaps why I always marvel at the way things turn out to be. A man's undying love for his family pushes his relationship with his father to the boundaries because his father, like most fathers, only cared about his career. A lady embracing her fear of 10 years through her life experiences, a unique child going through the constant bullying of her classmates trying to reach out to her father who never seems to care about her, and the father who assumes that providing for the family is as good as providing love for them. Perhaps why this film spoke out so strongly to me, and perhaps why this film meant so much to me was partly because I could FULLY understand what the director was trying to put across, the movie had no expected scenes where you go 'yeah I knew that would happen', it brought plenty of revelations to me in a period where I'm trying to balance out my life, it brought me to the most important thing of all: that each on of us has a purpose in life, and God influences our lives with both the lives and deaths of close ones.

so yeah, great ending to the movie too, totally deserves 5-stars! :DD

when cards were legal

hehe i won him ^^

crash while trying to crash him :<

smsing is so much more impt than eating

perhaps literacy is the best expression

2010-03-18T22:21:00.007+08:00

Finally got RJC term 1 notes for pcme and gp. Getting the chinese notes from miin on monday :D the photocopying cost is only $17.10, so i bet the printing shop in RJ scammed the students of alot of $$ haha. Advantage of not going school (: but i kinda miss school. i miss the environment, i miss the community, i miss all the stupid things that classmates and friends will joke about and laugh behind the teacher's back (or front). But there's nothing I can do to lift my life off this static state, and that's damn zibei :< ok so anyway i've been reading this book ^ for the past week: Our Little Secret, My Life in the Shadow of Abuse by Tori Dante. Borrowed this book from the library while browsing for random reads. Anyway, this book is a true-life account of how the female author was molested, sexually assaulted, raped and tormented by her father throughout her childhood years starting from about 5 years old till about 18. What I really love about the book is not just about the explicit manner in which the author described the various rapes 'He pushed a vibrator roughly into my vagina before turning me over and thrusting his penis into my anus...', but also the recovery process in which she went through with the help of God, on how she overcame her fears and mistrusts, on how she fought to regain control of her composure after finding out that her dad has also committed those acts to her aunt, step-sister and other various female family members, how how he denied it all in court, believing that he will get away scot-free because he was a big name in society, and how her mum chose to believe her husband instead of listening to the countless stories of abuse from relatives. Through the various bible phrases that she prayed, the one I find most striking to me was:

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing f your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will"
Romans 12:2

In other context, it just means 'don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think'. Of course, every bible phrase has a different and particular meaning to us all based on our different mindsets and experiences, and yup I feel this bible phrase popping out to me very strikingly, like 'this MUST be GOD'S message!' perhaps I should pray more and find more revelations about this special phrase :D

Oh, and i dunno whether to take Olvls chinese as a private candidate, mainly cause I dunno whether I'm a RJC student. I got E8 got HMT last year, so if I follow typical RJ students, I'll have to take Alvls H1 Chinese, which comprises of oral, listening compre, paper 1 & 2. But im not a typical RJ student, so I can actually choose to re-take Olvls HMT or Alvls H1 chinese as a private candidate. But I dunno whether im a RJ student, and whether RJ will still accept me for Raffles Diploma if I apply for Olvls HMT retake and score above D7. ugh my mind damn confused, should call the school tomorrow and ask them for advice :D

when time is the essence of everything

2010-03-17T23:03:00.004+08:00

I know i haven really been updating my blog, which is quite inexcusable of me since I'm at home almost everyday 24/7. So anyway, went out with Vivian on tuesday. Ate at northpoint swensons where we ordered the student meal, so there was free flow of drinks \m/ i think i drank 3 glasses of sprite :O and vivian was VERY VERY kind to treat me for that meal as a very belated birthday present, so yay thank you! i'll get you a very special 18th birthday present ok? :D

After that we went funan, where vivian had to go pass her lappy to the service centre cause her motherboard crashed. Then we went to challenger to browse around. To quote vivian from her blog, 'walked around funan's challenger with marcus and i can only say that: guys will always be guys. i spent most of the time waiting for him because he was happily playing with the demo games -.-'

Not very unexpected xD so anyway I bought a earpiece cum mouthpiece, a webcam and a 2-yr challenger membership. Membership is $30 for 2 years, and only discount on selected items. But if I fail to save up to $50 within the 2 years using my membership, I get to claim back $40! So I guess it's kinda like an investment. as long as I dun exceed $50 in savings in these 2 years when I shop at challenger, I get $40 for free at the end of the period! yay :D took 851 back to yishun, passed by bugis street. was really itching to go there and shop, but oh well perhaps another day (:my new webcam <3

i was just innocently typing 'why' on the google search bar :O

does the past really matter?

2010-03-13T00:21:00.002+08:00

today travelled from yishun -> jurong east -> tanjong pagar -> raffles city -> orchard -> woodlands -> yishun. lucky i got student concession :D

went to watch 'curious wonderland' by ahmad ibrahim dance with angie. not bad, considering that it's the inaugural dance concert by AI, but the whole concert only lasted 30 minutes + 15 minute intermission! at least the dance moves were cool, and fiona was awesome ^^

i just cant take the responsibility anymore. How can you forget and forgive yourself when you know you have destroyed the lives of many, altered the fate of many more and changed the course of destiny of families? How can i ever redeem myself in the eyes of my friends peers and juniors, when the responsibility of destruction lies heavily on your shoulders, and you know there is no way to return back and change the past? How can i ever face my friends and family eye-to-eye and tell them all that i've done, all that i've really done, and let them share the burden too? How can i bring myself, to forgive myself to the harm i've caused.

sand-filled sorrows

2010-03-11T14:28:00.017+08:00

went sentosa yesterday with celine ruimin angie kenglong louis vincent gavin. went to palawan beach, though I would have really loved to go siloso. But still, managed to swim to the opposite makeshift island from palawan, getting my feet cut on the rocks while swimming >.<
my hot pink shirt :D

doggy

puppy

gavin looks like arnold schwarzenegger with amputated legs

this shot \m/

stupid cute face lol

look at the hwa chong boys at the background! come to the beach in sch uniform xD

yes, my hot pink shirt again ^^

my $9.30 dinner ><

my mission is done, i've no longer any relationship with you. you've found other shoulders to cry on I removed mine. sorry for the bastardly acts i committed to fend you away from me, but memories of you and me will disappear the moment u stop thinking about them. your life is now no concern of mine, which is what both you and I want. may our lives never intertwine again, because i've no reason to befriend you anymore.

when education is all that matters

2010-03-03T16:07:00.003+08:00

I've recently been experimenting with some super ultra cool image editing software :D still quite new to it, though youtube tutorials really puts me in the right learning direction (: just created my first blog banner yay!!

weather nowadays is blazing hot!! the entire nation probably smells like it's having a barbie and my house average temperature is around 34 degrees ><

again&again

2010-03-02T09:53:00.001+08:00

yearning to fly through hasty flaps

2010-02-26T23:42:00.002+08:00

Saw this notice on the HDB noticeboard at my void deck when walking home today. This is the picture that police have come up with after listening to descriptions of the culprit from the victim. Remember the yishun attacks about a month ago? not the one whre the chiobu was attacked, but the old lady. Apparently this picture has a 70% - 80% resemblance of the attacker. About 1.65m, fair complexion and short black hair

LOOKS LIKE ME!!! :(

But challenges are afterall made to make you stronger

2010-02-23T23:08:00.003+08:00

Went to huiting's class chalet today (: they sleep like pigz leh! normally people spend all their time in the chalet playing and laughing and going back home with sore throat and panda eyes, but this group like to SLEEP! but still, managed to find time to go arcade (: spent $24 there, almost half of it on trying to get those cute cute soft toys in those machines D: the rest was spent on daytona and para-para. I tink my legs are getting super duper hyper active, keep jumping on the machine even though they weren't required too >.< and all 8 daytona machines at the eHub weren't working, waste $4.40 :( Home by 2030. curfew's killing me

Temptations prevail, but so does God's will

2010-02-22T23:03:00.003+08:00

happy 17th bdae hazel!! we must really hang out soon (: i miss the times when u told me everything under the sun and so did i.. Friends that last through lack of communications will last forever :D

oink oink

2010-02-21T09:16:00.002+08:00

ok, im back blogging after three months! :D i suppose alot has happened during this time, not gonna explain it all here :)

aint my new blogskin cool :>

meow

2010-01-08T21:27:00.001+08:00

and todae i realised something called 'community cats'

Im bored

2010-01-06T00:17:00.000+08:00

realli realli bored

2010 Plan

2009-12-31T23:14:00.002+08:00

honestly, 2009 has been a fu*ked-up, sh*t-filled year, but it has also been a year of revelations and maturity for me. Let 2010 be a better year (:

- Serve God's Kingdom more actively
- Get attached to a CIP organization
- Resist the temptation of technology addiction and lust to triumph Satan
- Change at least 5 people's lives
- Make at least 5 new friends
- Reconnect with at least 5 people I've lost touch with
- Have lunch with at least 1 friend per fortnight
- Bring at least 5 people to church to hear God's word (:
- Have at least 1 hour of quiet time with Him everyday
- Jog at least 1 hour and play sports at least 1 hour every week
- Study at least 1 hour per day
- Not to use colourful language
- Not to point the middle finger
- Keep short fingernails

- Sit on The Ultimate Bungy
- Go to Wild Wild Wet
- Pay for the movie ticket of the person behind me in the queue
- Help Amelia ace N lvls
- Help Huiqi ace O lvls
- Help Huiqi's and my sister to ace PSLE
- Set short/middle/long term goals for Northland Alumni
- Set short/middle/long term goals for myself
- Open a bank account
- Find out how the stock market works

genting

2009-12-30T23:31:00.006+08:00

todae had cell group chalet.. was fun, finally spent some quiet time with God (: gonna spend tomorrow doing my 2010 plan :D

came back from genting on monday night.. genting was a bore, seriously. maybe cause im too old or something, but the only ride that thrilled me was the space shot, where they zoom u up few hundred metres into the sky till all u can see is mist, then they practically let u go and pull u up at the last minute.. kind of a vertical roller coaster :) but all the other rides didn't thrill me :( i was like.. 'ok, cockscrew, sharp turn, round-a-bout, what's next??' i just cant understand how ppl can keep going genting every year!! maybe it's more fun when u go with ur friends :D

the guy gave me my dad's tag

this is... raw yellow mee and fish on a steamboat aluminium foil filled with oil and thousand island sauce

BIONG!!

i <3 my new socks :D

no. 7 of my shades collection

baby bought me a bag for christmas!! <3

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T13:18:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS :D

if i just said merry christmas to you, you're my friend
if i sent u a card or an email, you're my good friend
if you received the super duper expensive Marks & Spencer card, you're my close friend
if i sent u a gift, you're my BEST FRIEND :DD

ok, gotta rush. im leaving for malaysia in 5 minutes and i haven packed my bag ><

malaysia

2009-12-20T20:30:00.003+08:00

back from malaysia!! a place where chiobus are plentiful and shopping temptations are unrestrained because all the prices there are in RM!! it's like walking through a shopping mall noeing that wateva prices the shop assistant quotes for u, u onli need to spend 45% of it in SGD. oh, and the McValue lunch at McDonald there is onli RM5.95.. damn cheap :D

chicken rice ball from malacca

their twister fries damn looooonngg

for baby <3

monopoly :D

2009-12-11T22:07:00.005+08:00

went baby's house to play monopoly with she and her didi.. he's damn cute! :DD make me feel so bad for bullying them.. but what to do? i rock in monopoly (:

i owned practically the top 8 most expensive areas + 4 MRT + the orange area hehe

whee!!!

Singapore Flyer

2009-12-09T14:44:00.013+08:00

this is my 400th post! whooo!!

ytd was our first month anniversary, so we went to watch movie at tm gv.. wanted to watch new moon but couldn't make it in time cause the stupid queue was soo long, it took us half an hour to reach the ticketing counter. it doesn't help when u put timezone right beside the queue and all u can do is look at the games :(

after that we went SINGAPORE FLYER!! there wasn't much of a queue, so we got the entire capsule to ourselves :) but it sure gets boring after a while, so we resorted to watching the angmoh gay couple in the capsule next to ours and copying their various poses for the camera.. took the shuttle bus back after the ride.. touring around the city at the back of a open-top bus is awesome ttm :D i took 64 photos ytd.. all can be seen on facebook haha

oh look! the exit!!

i wonder what this does...

Month of November

2009-12-07T21:18:00.011+08:00

u noe how u always want to blog but suddenly facebook appears and then u forget all about it, tinking that u will probably blog about it the next day? then when u actually sit down and open up blogger at the end of the month, u realise so many events have happened that u dun realli wanna blog about it so that ppl dun have to read a lenghty wordy post?

yeah im in that position, so just let the pictures do the talking (:

nlps grad nite'09

applause concert!

family time at ecp

spent $117 at bugis + $5

Nothing's Gonna Change

2009-11-11T21:36:00.000+08:00

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young
And we both know they'll take us
Where we want to go

Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too

<3

2009-11-08T22:34:00.002+08:00

finally, someone caught my eye <3

oh, and blue mansion sux big time. dun bother wasting ur $$ on it ><

This Is It

2009-11-05T11:46:00.002+08:00

watched MJ's This Is It ytd with huiting.. it just kinda reaffirmed my perspective of Michael Jackson and opened up a few more revelations about him (:

too bad huiting isn't a MJ fan :<

NYGH Dramafest

2009-10-31T22:43:00.006+08:00

spent the weekend doing deco for the alumni.. grad nite 09 is coming!! guess it'll be a eye-opener for me cause i realli wanna organise next yr's :D

and my comp just crash -.- after i copied all my handphone stuff onto my comp and formatted my memory card.. which means now i've completely no music or photos AT ALL

FML

ebonics

2009-10-27T20:36:00.004+08:00

this is a LIMITED EDITION image ok haha.. i tink wikipedia slipped abit? xD u cant find it on google anymore though (:

staying at home instead of going for 'intensive chinese remedial' realli helps clear my head, something which i guess will help me more in the long-term than the remedials.. sometimes we tell ourselves that we dun wan to see the future, because if we see the future, it ruins the surprise of the future, and it alters the way we see things and react to things, because we know the end result if we react in a certain way or manner, so the future is realli undetermined despite whether we can see it or not, because our mindsets will cause us to change the future constantly through our current actions. So basically, our actions create the future, and not basing our actions on the future.

I guess this theory can be brought forward to many other areas in our lives, that we do things for the sake of our future and the better of the people around us, instead of going through adventures and actions solely based on what we perceive the future for us to be

class outing

2009-10-26T22:41:00.003+08:00

went to yishun safra to hang out with class for awhile before heading back home for chinese tuition.. the arcade has a new car racing game!! must practise thre more often :DD then played DotA with hieu and zixuan. used drow, then hieu's rasta keep ks-ing me zzz.. but they need to upgrade their maps ok.. now got .59 alr, they still stuck with .43 damn. went bowling after tat [HAHA I BEAT YEOON BY 2 POINTS] then homed.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own"
Matthew 6:33

faith on its own is the sole key to His kingdom, but it is vital to inbuilt His righteousness into our daily lives and doings. only then can we have all then we rightfully need and have nothing to worry about. but i suppose the challenge for me is to look up to Him and honestly say that i have tried my best to be as righteous as i can be. these few days have been a true wake-up call for me.. perhaps God planned it this way and he will create a better ending. or he might put worse adversities in store for me because he knows i will pull through as a better person and stronger believer in Him after what he has set for me. no matter what, i'm ready. but this is not only about me, because my actions has its self consequences followed by reactions from others. onli You alone will know the progress i have made and the set-backs i have encountered, and i pray You will guide my wisdom and mindset accordingly.
Amen

eoeoys

2009-10-22T21:24:00.001+08:00

YES EOYS ARE OVER YAY!! no more sitting beside guys who keep shaking their head or listening to the person 'in charge of the hall'.. stupid exam invigilator.. hope she holds everyone back tmr :DD

i suppose math is a subj where everyone noes everything alr, just tat it's how u apply it tat counts, cause during the one hr break, nobody was mugging math, but just spamming random things about how paper 1 was so easy and completely possible to score 100% [me included lol]

ok so now i've a 7-day holiday.. i need to save money >< and somehow my DotA cant work with Garena damn

tkd grading

2009-10-18T13:30:00.002+08:00

supposed to reach nee soon east cc at 9am to see yijung's taekwondo grading.. but woke up at 9.30, so i reached cc at 9.40 [tat meant tat i came out of bed, brush my teeth, bathe, eat, change clothes and wear shoes in 10 minutes!!], so by the time i reach cc, yijung's grading was JUST over x.x realli hopes she gets double promotion though :DD green to blue yeah? haha but seeing the other gradings was quite an eye-opener.. like seeing a 15-yr-old guy among 6-yr old kids going for yellow belt promotion, while seeing 7-yr old girls at the sideline wearing red black belts.. and not to mention the fact that they can kick their legs about 135 degrees into the air while standing.. i wonder who will win if i go sparring with them haha (:

TUNG YIJUNG U STILL HAVE TO TEACH ME TKD HAHAHAHAHA :DD

mid-exam joy

2009-10-17T14:11:00.002+08:00

first three papers weren't too bad.. english was quite straightforward although i somehow managed to link the decline in youths reading in our society to globalization, cause globalization brings about the connection between ppl and their dependency on the internet, so when youths become more engaged in IT, they lose interest in black-and-white books. zai right! :D

SS was pretty screwed up.. the essay on globalization could have been written more in-dept although i spend 80 minutes on it, and the essay on venice was like a piece of shit filled with stuff tat randomly popped into my mind

chem was kinda easy if u compare it with our practise papers.. but im just too dumb and careless, so i screwed it up.. i wrote alcohol in the structural formulae of alkane (something that even a jackass can tell the difference), and i wrote calcium chloride as CaCl instead of CaCl2.. i always tend to screw up secondary 1 chemical formulas on EOYs.. last yr i screwed up calcium carbonate when i wrote it as CaCO3 instead of Ca2CO3.. tink calcium hates me :<

after chem ytd went to tamp to study and give huiqi her dress since miner doesn't even bother to contact me regarding her bdae present.. God fits everything perfectly i guess. the moment i decided to give the dress to someone else, huiqi said she had a formal function to attend tmr and she doesn't have any dresses! doesn't take a psychologist to bring two and two together.. then i lost my ez-link card in tamp! damn pissed with myself, cause without the ezlink card, i paid $2 to return to yishun on 969 and i cant go out during the weekends. sick pile of shit :(

tues is geog and physics while thurs is math.. hope i can survive my surroundings in the school hall. person on my left is always writing answers, making me feel damn slow, while person on my right keeps shaking his head and grunting every 5 seconds, and the person 2 seats to my right keeps canceling his answer in the most dramatic fashion every minute. aint studying in a RI environment fun -.-

starbucks

2009-10-12T18:44:00.006+08:00

ok i spent the weekend mugging SS, physics, math, chem and abit of geog at northpoint starbucks.. americano rocks :DD made alot alot of notes!! until my 1-week old pink pen ran outta ink :< time to buy new pen

my lunch + notes on venice

maybe he was trying to press the '1' button..

he looks like he just got raped

jeanie bdae

2009-10-11T17:21:00.016+08:00

ok wed was jeanie's sweet sixteen, so HAPPY BELATED BDAE!! and todae is ruimin bdae, so HAPPY BDAE RUIMIN!! i feel so bad ok, uploading jeanie bdae photos on ruimin bdae xD anyway celine organized a surprise bdae party for jeanie, and i had to find helium balloons.. so went to novena, then orchard, then city hall, then tampinees on tues with ruimin to find the sutpid floatable balloons, then in the end we found it at yishun -.- yar yar credits to u ruimin
sry if the photos low quality, i forgot my handphone camera was on low resolution :<

some cyborg glasses

jeanie's bdae present.. NOT CHEAP!!

smile!!

playing cards among candlelight since the condo management turned off the lamp-posts.. kenneth taught us how to play Circle of Death! kinda fun if thre r alot of ppl.. forfeit was drinking 40% alcohol lol

oh thre are ants in the cup

oh and this is calvin's chinese oral

A place to be

2009-10-06T22:17:00.002+08:00

it's kinda rare that i post church sermon's onto my blog [in fact this is my first time], but i kinda feel and relate very strongly to his particular sermon

http://202.172.180.48/FCBC/sermons/oct04_e_768K.wmv

The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbour as yourself."
Galatians 5:14

of course, there are many different versions of this bible phrase, most commonly heard is 'do unto others as u want others to do unto u'.. but honestly, how many of us practise that in every of our actions?

AATL

2009-10-05T21:00:00.000+08:00

HAHA U GUYS GOT TO READ THIS!!! ALL THE WAYY FROM THE BOTTOM!!

http://aalteam.blogspot.com/

oh and it sux having new clothes and not being able to blog about it :<

etp

2009-10-04T21:45:00.008+08:00

todae summon was realli good! realli answered alot of my questions i faced ytd as well as revealed alot more about God's plan for all of us.

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'"
Acts 17:24-28

the revelation that i received from this passage was astounding, if not mind-shaking. anyway, after church we went changi airport T3 food court to eat (food stilll sucks damn), then went escape theme park with matthew, sb, randolph, zj, hz and xj to play for 4 hours heh :DD we played pirate ship 6 times, wild wild wet 6 times, and all the other rides once :D the go-kart was fun!! went from 4th to 1st haha.. i LUV go-karts!! then got sore throat now cause i kept screaming. not the 'SHIT WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE' screams, but the 'HAHA THIS IS SOOOO FUN' kind of scream (: now i gotta watch my throat... and oh i was soaking wet for 4 straight hours cause of wild wild wet haha..

BJJ wedding

2009-10-03T21:11:00.002+08:00

YAY JIAJUN 终于出嫁了!! and yes im practising my chinese!! not bad not bad right :DD haha anw, to both basia and jiajun, i have been in the cell for onli half a year, so am still not directly able to feel and sense the presence of God tgt with you. maybe ur were busy with the wedding preparations and everything, but i just wished i could have a closer bond to communicate abt my ideas, thoughts and dreams abt God and his work on Earth..

i guess todae i can learn something very vital, besides all the fun and food.. it's tat true love will persevere and last forever. It's a symbol of faith towards each other and more importantly, God. i suppose jiajun fought a hard battle against all the obstacles God put in his path to finally become one flesh with basia. I wish i could be like him. I wish i could have the courage to face these obstacles, ignore temptations and place my whole life and future into His hands, but somehow sometimes i just feel like the temptations are just far too much beyond my inner control. i wan to place my heart and soul to Him, not to kneel in his presence but instead treat him as a friend, not to gaze in awe at his mightiness, but to realli learn how to be as mighty and righteous as him, not for self glorification or personal triumph, but to better understand human nature, the world he created for us, the challenges he put in our lives and the way he smiles down on each and every one of us.

one of my biggest temptations has always been lust.. one of the 7 deadly sins. im a sinner of all 7 deadly sins, but i suppose lust is a challenge that god has thrown into my face, to want me to face it head-on, encounter it, understand it and overcome it. It may not be as deadly as sloth or greed, but it's the sin that i have the largest tendency to commit and thus, i will face it and subdue it solely because of my faith for God. God alone knows the extent of my sins and the extent of how much I have understood and conquered about this sin. onli He alone noes the struggle i have had faced and the enlightenment he has placed upon me to not onli appreciate the true beauty and love around me, but also to spread his message, his message of love.

belated sweet 16

2009-09-30T22:16:00.010+08:00

more PICTURES!! [oh the unglamness :<]

sweet sixteen

2009-09-29T21:45:00.019+08:00

yay todae is MY BIRTHDAY!! MARCUS'S DAY as yijung put it :DD left school at 2.30 after a damn boring career guidance talk and SS remedial..
went to swensens with ruimin! i tink she's starting to hate going out with me lar, everytime we go out tgt, we end up at glam restaurants eating expensive food and burning holes in both our pockets heh. anyway she bought me a white belt!! YAY THX :DD

my fish n chips

my bdae sundae

CHOCOLATE MUDPIEE!! the chocolate damn thick!

she holds the spoon up like she's gonna eat her phone x.x

anyway total cost was $46.02, after 17% extra cause of service charge and GST. someday we must eat at a restaurant WITHOUT gst and service charge.. maybe starbucks or breeks cafe! just open at the top floor of northpoint, gonna try sometime soon (: and WHITLEY SOO GOOD! dun need go sch after tmr till olvls wth haha, presumingly to encourage them to study. just hope some ppl wun get too distracted by things such as boyfriends eh?
anw, after lunch me and ruimin go walk walk at J8 since walking helps digestion :D (oh wait.. jeanie says it's digression haha) walk arnd looking for tuxedo, shades and pants for grad nite.. tuxedo cost minimum $119 omgwtf.. must start saving heh (: then we enter some perfume shop and i left the shop smelling of Hugo Boss, Toxic of Heaven and 3 other strange perfumes...
reached back home at 6+, then went out again for dinner with family at fish n chicks near ssc

my ribeye steak

then went back home to eat CAKE :DD

overall, it wasn't realli a nice sweet sixteen bdae, maybe cause i dun realli go out after school with friends due to the stupid probation thingy.. but thx ruimin for making my day (:
thx to those who wished me happy bdae: jeanie, ruimin, shamaine, jamie, huiqi, sih si, yijung, vivian, gloria, agnes, sandi, jerald, matthew, sb, rachel, lydia, vivien, david, joanna, zhiyi, gina, xinyun, lynn, ho miner and amelia [still cant believe u forgot :<], and anyone who wished me through twitter or facebook or Hi-5 or tagged or watever yeah..

thx for keeping me awake early in the morning jeanie :DD and thx for singing the bdae song (:

hmt plan

2009-09-26T21:11:00.007+08:00

ok so my hmt eoy got like 36/%.. tat's like a GPA 0.8? im a dummy stupid asshole :< ok so anw here's my plan for HMT O lvls.. if i wake up before 6.45, i'll go to RI as per normal and everything.. but if i wake up later, by the time i prepare myself for school, i'll be too late. so i'll be going cchy to take the exam since its like the nearest sec sch to my house tat offers HMT
and there was this super strange weather on friday.. the whole sky was damn bright at like 7.25, then it turned super duper grey at like 7.35 if u look closer, the sky was bright over J8, dark over RI, then bright again over RJC.. damn i wish i had a camera tat could capture the sky contrast..

the top left of the tree is actually shone on by sunlight amidst grey clouds

then i went WINDOW-shopping.. what i would do if i had a million

sry alvin i couldnt go for refurb although i told u personally tat i COULD go.. i noe i made u pissed and disappointed at tat moment. forgive me yeah :$

manhattan fishmarket

2009-09-22T21:11:00.008+08:00

ok so angie finally posted tat stupid screenshot.. retarded :(
wanted to watch the cove on monday since it closes on thurs and it's onli available at GV vivo at 2.40 and 7pm everyday. ruimin last min cannot, so guess i'll be watching it online since i wun be free the rest of the week :< realli wanted to watch tat documentry..
todae went manhattan fishmarket at J8 with ruimin.. order some fried salmon thingy tat cost $16, $18.70 after GST and service charge :(
after tat went library study till 7+ then headed back to yishun.. went to buy ingredients to bake cake, but gave up cause i couldnt find the kirsch, so ended up buying mooncakes :D $27 for 4 pieces, better be nice lor..

more of wenqi :D

wenqi bdae

2009-09-21T15:22:00.009+08:00

HAPPY BDAE WENQI!!

rainbow

2009-09-19T23:07:00.001+08:00

stuff you never noticed as a kid

BOF - Because im stupid

2009-09-18T23:57:00.000+08:00

private blog

2009-09-17T15:15:00.002+08:00

sry ppl nv update for quite long alr.. spent hols mugigng organic chem and now going through DMP.. sux big time cause i've to go for math, physics and chem revision although im perfectly fine in those subjects. guess it's a good time to revise and recap my knowledge of the topics taught earlier in the year..

also was busy creating a new private blog to freely express my own personal philosophical views and thoughts about global, general and personal issues.. like 'what is love' and 'what are friends for' yeah those kind of questions.. thre r ppl who would prefer to keep things simple by not thinking about such things but hey, im a complicated-thinking person who's simple :DD chose wordpress to house my new private blog mainly because of being able to protect each post with a password, something tat blogger STILL hasn't catched up with eh?

so many movies to catch up with!! havent realli watched a movie since The Proposal cos of curfew and just not being free.. yeah my schedule seems to be damn packed for the next 2 weeks, and it's seriously not helping when i've to reach home by 9 every night. damn cant wait for probation to be over :<

air race

2009-09-10T21:20:00.002+08:00

went to hci todae to participate in air race.. first time using joystick, and first time using microsoft flight stimulator.. in the end came in 7th team overall, and individual got nothing, although i felt my descend was the best, and the asshole instructor was unfair in not aligning everyone's plane properly.. so here are some points which would have helped us got gold..

- flew to the wrong airport.. and the stupid instructor let us fly halfway towards the next airport before realizing the mistake and forcing us to turn back wtff
- RI didn't train us at all despite winning 3 times in a row before.. at least provide us with experiences from previous winners or give us the stimulator to try out in the comp lar.. a few thousand dollars wun burn ur deeeeeep pocket right =.=
- thre were a total of 5 papers printed out and pasted on walls indicating the location of Lab 3.. and in a school like HWA CHONG which spans across 3 bus-stops, it's no wonder we were almost late and had no time to try the stimulator.
- lastly, im really disappointed and utterly shocked at RGS team attitude towards the competition..

dressing

2009-09-08T20:32:00.004+08:00

went amk hub todae to buy miner white dress for her bdae present.. went along with vivien. finally found this dress which looked quite nice.after tat went to minitoons to get a box for the dress

then vivien complained tat i spending too much on tis bdae present when i nvr buy anything for her. her bdae was like 7 june, so since we were at mini toons, she chose on soft toy and i bought ti for her as a belated bdae present zzz.. $52 down the drain

bdae wishes

2009-09-07T20:51:00.003+08:00

k bought two new pairs of shoes.. now just need to buy tat adidas boot cream for my soccer shoes..

IT'S 22 DAYS TO MY HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN OK!! -so here is a list of my wants :D-
- skinnies size 26
- jeans size 28
- shoes UK size 8
- necklace, not too thin pendant
- ring, thick silver
- BRIGHT BOLD T-SHIRTS
- short sleeved shirts
- shades
- white belt
- laptop
- PSP with games duh
- iPhone
- iPod

and if u realli cant afford any of the above items, buy me chocolate and soft toy :DD

RAGE XIV

2009-09-06T22:52:00.002+08:00

went to RIGE concert: RAGE XIV con fuoco last nite.. went with mum cause my friend last min kena grounded by mum wtff.. anw im soo nt bringing my mum to any other concert alr. i mean like.. i appreciate her effort and time and everything, but... i prefer sticking with friends when it comes to a school concert :DD

pieces were kinda nice.. especially likes the... 'Io Che Non ViVo Senza Te' piece. and delwyn's and jiheng jazz-feeling performance was quite nice too, although nt comparable to last yr one haha..

song by EXCO was Summer.. but somehow throughout the song didnt realli feel like being in the summer atmosphere, but what came to my mind was looking out at a empty street in the middle of a hot stuffy night, then as the song progressed, the guy went to lie at a sofa in the apartment, just missing out on the girl of his dreams as she walks past the window and into another street... yeah vivid imagination.. i always kinda do tat when listening to classical/romantic period music haha

and im seriously considering joining choir next yr lol

last day of term 3

2009-09-05T15:25:00.002+08:00

yes ytd was the LAST DAY OF TERM 3 YAYY!! din realli participate in any of the games during games day cause i 4got to register for them. crap >< received geog paper after games.. 15.5/20 was not too bad.. onli like 1.5 marks below luke lol, but guess i would realli need to read up on rivers and everything before the EOYs

after tat went to KFC with dex and jordan for lunch.. i tink KFC is damn stingy. u get one cup of pepsi at $1 when u buy snackers, which is abt the same price as a 750ml bottle at cold storage. after tat went shopping arnd J8, then AMK hub. was looking for necklace, ring, shirts, shoes, wallet and bag.. haha basicallyt almost everything that I need to go out fashionable :D hurt my right calf, then trained to northpoint at 5 to study with qixuan at starbucks.

new york cheese is <3

northland teacher day

2009-09-01T10:05:00.004+08:00

went back northland ytd quite early to give some stupid alumni presentation plus speech.. went horrible i guess. kept saying 'urrrm' and 'ehhh', cause i seriously had nthing to talk abt. i din even see the purpose of the ppt besides being something extra in an itinery with less than 4 items on it, including my speech ==' but at least i got to see a magic show and the bunny :DD the magician drop the bunny on the floor halfway through the stage lar, damn bad :<

bunny is cute. bunny likes my fingers

after tat met angela and liwen.. haven met them for ages haha, then managed to go through mrs lee goy 20+ ppl strong crowd to give her the fruit basket. sent liwen home, met miner, tomas, then went arcade to play with alvina, rachel and friend. after tat went bowling alley to emo abit then went home. slept from 5-10. 5pm to 10am

esperanza

2009-08-30T18:14:00.002+08:00

teacher's day celebs

2009-08-29T21:58:00.014+08:00

teachers' day celebs ytd.. went sch late AGAINchionhster present

mdm bek present.. xiao zhuzhu!!

ksp present.. the magazine is so real, my face-detection enabled phone camera detected her face wtff

neoh, eunice tay, p lim

happy teachers' day!

cake

FOOOD!!

RJ choir

crashed

2009-08-23T12:30:00.000+08:00

ok im using ruimin's lappy in np starbucks, chionging my english portfolio BECOS my comp crashed, making me unable to use it and deleting away my entire portfolio. So i have to redo my entire portfolio -pissed pissed pissed-

luckily i saved 1/4 of it in my thumbdrive...

Beethoven - Pathetique

2009-08-22T18:35:00.000+08:00

18K pendant

2009-08-21T23:04:00.005+08:00

ok study date todae with celine jeanie and kenneth.. tried unsuccessfully to study chinese, so decided to concentrate on teaching chem. then realised i couldnt teach organic chem cause my notes werent with me.. oh wells :(

CELINE HO U BETTER WAKE UP ROAR!!

after tat went to buy mum bdae present from lee hwa.. 18K pendant, not cheap ok haha (:

i love u mummy (:

fire steak

2009-08-19T22:00:00.005+08:00

damn im still ill :( was so giddy and having a very very strong headache tat i couldnt even survive 4 hrs in sch. noob

anw last nite went to amk jack's place to celebrate MOMMY'S BDAE!! gonna buy her present tis friday (:

yup i ordered fire steak, cause i tot it'll taste GREAT with the brandy
then the chef came with the steak, then lighted the steak such tat the whole plate was on fire for seconds..
thre goes my brandy..
so i paid a few extra $$ just to see a fire display on the piece of steak i was gonna eat.

my companion tis morning while chionging portfolio

headache

2009-08-18T21:39:00.002+08:00

ok i vomited in sch todae.. not exactly the best thing to do when u've 4 SS notes abt globalisation in front of u :<

and assembly was awesome. im gonna catch swan lake with cheesy pizza.. been looking forward to it all year man! (:

happy bdae mummy!! :DD

at risk

2009-08-17T17:01:00.001+08:00

man i hate mdm lee

DMP

2009-08-17T14:48:00.002+08:00

ok im stuck at school comp lab staring at ppl arnd me doing their own stuff.. i tot it was bio lesson ==' ok managed to get my 48 hrs for DMP scheduled, so unless my internet speed lags like some shit at exactly 1700 hrs resulting in me not getting the modules i want, or some retarded teacher put me down for remedial..

- Asianisation of Hollywood (Film) Enriched [ok im joining this module just to watch horror movies..]
- Theatre of the Oppressed [heh yeah im realli interested in theatre works :DD]
- Feminism Uncovered [hey sounds cool!]
- Analysing Academic Theories Through Gaming [do i even need to say y im joining tis module haha]
- The Fairer Sex? [heh :D]
- Floorball
- Weight Training for Beginners

yeah tats a total of 48 hrs...

ok since im still super damn sian i'll do the quiz on yeoon's blog..

01. Who was your last text from? Yijung

02. Where was your msn display picture taken? I dun hav a dp :(

03. Your relationship status? Single

04. Have you ever lost a close friend? yeah..

05. What is your current mood? ENGLISH PORTFOLIO WTFFFF

06. How many siblings you have? 3

07. What is your brother's/sister's name? AL, AW, WS

08. Where would you wish you were right now? Tampinees...

09. Have a crazy side? The one and onli side i have (:

10. Ever had a near death experience? yar some fish bone stuck at my throat for 2 hrs...

11. Something you do a lot? Smsing ^^

12. Angry at anyone? Kinda..

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like? Another person

14. When was the last time you cried? 1st July 2008 :DD

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for? yes

16. What you think about when you are falling asleep? must not be late for school tmr...

17.Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Joanna

18. What is your favourite song? Littlest Things, lily allen

19. What are you doing right now? seeing jordan watching anime/hentai on youtube beside me

20. Who do you trust right now? handful of people

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? bibi baba.. it's a stupid name yeah

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week? nope

23. Who is the friend that lives closest to you? yan yeng..

24. Describe your life in one word? sux

25. Who are you thinking of right now? cheesy pizza :DD

26. What should you be doing right now? Listening to jeffery lee talking abt.. natural processes in species change -omgwtfiretruck-

27. What are you listening to? Jeffery Lee voice

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug? I dun rmb :( kinda miss hugs yeah...

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you? Dr Chionh =='

30. Do you act differently around the person you like? nope.. perfectly normal (:

31. What is your natural hair colour? Black

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh? Dr chionh :DD

33. Who was the last person to make you sad? yijung :(

34. What do you hear? -Your mama so fat...- russell wong

35. Is your hair curly or straight? mixture...

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before? no my friends dun use cheem words..

37. Do you have a best friend? sure ^^

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past few days? nope

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer? :>

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? heh i used to change in the car every week for swimming lessons after tuition back in like.. P4/5

41. Are you happy with life right now? kinda..

42. Are you currently jealous? nope, joanna made me feel on top of the world ytd (: thx babe

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing? urm.. my beloved RI school badge?

44. What were you doing on friday night? msning with cheesy pizza

45. Have you ever had your heart broken? yea sadly..

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart? hope not

47. Is there anyone you're really disappointed in right now? yes

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for? H1N1

49. How late did you stay up last night why? 1230.. on the phone with joanna

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? nope

short hair

2009-08-16T15:10:00.002+08:00

ok i cut my hair! so hopefully it'll grow till it reaches 'confirm-fail-in-school' standard just around grad nite, then i can keep it till like next feb :DD

i dun wanna start on english portfolio.. just why must RI be different from other schools and ask ur to reflect on our 'ability to think' and 'leadership skills'.. what makes u tink i've those skills anyway, i'm just a dumbass in a smart boy suit :(

and i STILL gotta mug chem and physics.. kinda screwed considering i didn't do any of the wks that ksp provided.. -regrets spending so much time playing little fighter 2-

elmo

2009-08-15T22:40:00.003+08:00

found this picture while doing zuan ti zuo ye.. looks cute ><must chiong english portfolio and mug chem

Vivian yinmin me :D

2009-08-13T20:18:00.002+08:00

cannot drink lime juuuuice

barley barley barley

still ill

2009-08-12T15:28:00.001+08:00

last day of home quarantine and mc..

i dun tink i'm well yet :(

of course not due to H1N1, but i seem to break into cold sweat very often. and my cough is getting worse :(